Americana Cove

Wave that flag-

Jun 30, 2002

Bob Larsen: President Board of Directors
TOWN MEETING:
Wednesday Aug. 7th 1:00 PM
Old time Town Hall Meeting with one hour "Question and Answer" period.
Refreshments Served. ALL RESIDENTS WELCOME
We are looking forward to seeing you all.


PRAYER FOR JULY
Dear God, we are so thankful that our forefathers were inspired to set a day for the celebration of our independence. We cherish this freedom. Yet crime, corruption, and immorality are rampant throughout this beautiful country of ours. We pray that every resident, citizen or alien, will follow our President's example and turn to you in worship and for guidance.
We will never forget Pearl Harbor Day or September 11th when our peace was so viciously invaded and many innocent people were killed.
We think of ourselves, but forget that the horrors of war are seemingly constant in this wonderful world you created. Our prayers for all who are suffering the ravages of cruel wars, that they will be at peace.
May all those who have the power of leadership be led to be guided by Your Holy Spirit.
Amen.
John Whittredge Hill, Chaplain.


Manager's Report

NEW PUMP:
We have installed a new pump on Mt. Curve, which should help all on the south side with more pressure. So anyone who was watering on an off day to get enough pressure to water their grass and plants----you can now go back to your scheduled day and time.

THE CLUBHOUSE:
The new floor has been installed and waxed and looks beautiful. The furniture is really nice looking also. Thanks to all who had a part in this project. Especially to the workers who took down and put back all the books.

THREE WHEEL BIKES:
The concrete at the entrance to the Clubhouse is completed and we have installed PVC Pipe to hold the bikes in place. Please utilize this space for three wheelers only and it will free up the sidewalk and make an easier passage to the Atrium and side entrance to the Clubhouse.

MAINTENANCE CREW:
If you have seen a familiar face working on maintenance it is Jeremy Miller, he left us about three years ago to pursue another job-but missed Mobel Americana. We are pleased to have him back with us.

This is a public announcement to all the maintenance men: Fred, Mike, Herb, Carl, Dick, Randy Eric and Jeremy. You are doing a fine job. The Board, Management and the residents are so happy with your work ethics and the amount of work you are getting done. It shows everyday riding through the Community.
Keep up the good work, Fellas!

WATERING:
Many residents are watering during the day - after 9:00 AM and before 7:00 PM. This is BIG NO NO! The water doesn't soak in the ground that deep during this time as the hot sun evaporates the water. Watering 1 hour in the morning and 1 hour in the evening on your scheduled day is preferred. Any longer than 1 hour, the water does not soak in and runs down the street. WE MUST CONSERVE OUR WATER!!

PS:
There was a type-o in the June Forecaster in regard to the watering schedule; it should read 5:00 AM TO 9:00 AM or 7:00 PM to 11:00 PM. As stated, with the drought, we prefer you water only once a day in your time slot.

A major problem is our northern residents setting their sprinkler time clocks before going north. For any resident who is a caretaker for an absent owner, we would appreciate you adjusting their timer.



RESIDENT GET TOGETHER
Dick Nemi, Resident
For the past few weeks on Wednesday evening, those of us who are not snowbirds have gathered at the pool in the evening to enjoy each other's friendship. Already the rumblings have started as to how only a certain few are invited and did the board vote to do this. Again, let me set the record straight. Read your prospectus!!! It's amazing what you will find along with the by-laws. It seems to be easier to gripe than to dig out the facts. If you read the articles mentioned, you would know that all shareholders could attend any function held on common ground. These gatherings have been put together in just a matter of hours. Do you really expect someone to call everyone and invite you personally? The idea is just to get together for comradeship. Whenever you see a group gathering, introduce yourself, and feel free to join in. If you have any other ideas, maybe you would like to call everyone to share them!!!


Editorial Comment
John Bassett
Haven't done this in a while but Dick Nemi's piece got me thinking. Dick, as you know, is a doer, and while we haven't always seen eye to eye, he does get things done, or sees that they get done. So when he has a problem, he shoots from the hip. On the present concern I agree with him.
If you think about it, this is pretty much like a computer virus. Someone with nothing better to do creates a virus that gets into the computer systems, sometimes very important ones, and does a lot of damage monetarily, and also takes away time that could be better spent on other worthwhile things. So when you imagine something, and pass that information on to some one else, you have created an infection that will spread unless checked by a virus detection program. And that is what Dick's piece is all about. It is a virus detection/prevention program.
You know the only virus to infect our computer to date (touch wood) came from a friend through the email system. They had passed it on to us (the message that is) all unwittingly because they hadn't checked the logic of the information and because they trusted the source. We're more careful now. So as you can see, if it doesn't make sense (you can all think can't you?) then it is probably not true. Or would you rather believe everything you hear and not make an effort to think? It is true you know, that idle minds and idle hands will get up to mischief, but today I would call those people viruses without any concern for the harm they do.
So what are you going to be, a part of the virus detection program, or a virus?


MAA News
Paul Mattina, President
It's hard to believe how quiet it has been in the park, with many folks having left already and others continuing to leave if only briefly for visits to family and friends in other parts of the country. MAA is still alive and well, however, and is planning for current and future events.
On the Fourth of July we will be having a boxed chicken dinner, with coleslaw, baked beans and biscuit. MAA will provide beer and soda, and watermelon as well, all for $4.00. Since the dinners required ordering in advance, posters were put up and notices handed out from the gatehouse in an attempt to notify all residents as quickly as possible. The group "Just Us and Co.," made up of Mobel Americana talent, will perform after the 5:00 PM dinner.
It's a bit early, but tickets for the next event will be on sale starting August 2nd, too early for the August Forecaster, so we're announcing at this time that MAA is going to have a dinner on August 10th. Since there is no specific holiday or other event, we're calling it the "No Reason At All Dinner". Tickets will be sold at Bingo on Friday, August 2nd and again at a luncheon on Wednesday, August 7th. What luncheon, you may ask? MAA will be having a free lunch (yes, free) on August 7th, with no meeting involved. Just a get-together to eat and socialize with one another. As for the "No Reason At All Dinner", details on the menu, ticket price, etc., await the return of our kitchen wizard, Betty Chase. Be assured, these details will be available and publicized in time for all to make adequate plans. We look forward to seeing you at these events.


Welcome New Residents
By Frances McVay

HUBER, Dorothy L.
103 Americana Court 525-6674
Previously Eggerling

KAPKOWSKI, Anthony & Darlene (IL)
626 Mt. Key Avenue
Previously Dekraker

MOORE, Henry R. (CT)
132 Americana Court 526-1641
Previously Herbert/Garrett

MOTTL, Douglas C. & Terri L. (WI)
6805 Mt. Pleasant Road
Previously Peters


SUNSHINE REPORT JULY 2002 PEGGY HUBRICH
NURSING HOMES:
Bob Evans Carrington Place
Jane Bryant Maria Manor
Mitzi Delzell Shore Acres
Erna Wring Carrington Place
Carl Rosenquist Westminster Shores

BIRTHDAYS:
02 Nina Larson
04 Harriet Day
Dick Fay
05 Edwin Nos
06 Jules Evans
Richard Fisher
Phyllis Conlisk
07 Loretta McNiff
Joan Mitchell
08 Jim Mitchell
09 Pat Irmen
Gerry Kirby
10 Doreen McGrath
11 Vivian Linville
Clarissa Steakley
12 Adele Thomas
14 Cameron Shults
16 Barbara Higgins
18 Dorothy Kolb
Hazel Misciagna
23 Len Berg
24 Nancy Hubartt
29 Bill Swartout
30 Guy Pratt
31 Marie Costanzo

ANNIVERSARIES:
01 Lorraine and Howard Brown 52 years
Gerry and Len Berg 58 years
03 Mickie and Rolf Vobelt 16 years
14 Barbara and Jack Young 40 years
20 Doreen and Ed McGrath 45 years
21 Cecile and Bob Lescarbeau 12 years
25 Hazel and Nick Misciagna 36 years
31 Loretta and Don Berg 04 years

If you would like to have your birthday or anniversary printed in the Forecaster, please call me with your dates or send me a note.


MOBEL NOTES
By Ken Hopkins
ADVISORY PANEL - At a recent Board meeting, there were several items of discussion that led to the statement, "we will check on this and report back to the shareholders." That's great but I wonder why the Board feels they have to shoulder those burdens alone. There are nine Board members. There are around 700 residents in the community with all sorts of skills and backgrounds. When these issues come up that require research and discussion, why not form a committee or "advisory panel" composed of a couple of Board members and several residents with suitable skills? A few phone calls and some research on the Internet would go a long way towards lessening the Board's burden and give residents an opportunity to learn and experience the issues that the community faces. Not that the advisory panel would set policy, but rather they could be instrumental in helping the Board and our Manager make the proper decision. Florida statutes support this practice and also Mobel Americana by-laws. What do you think? Let's talk about it.

SPOTLIGHT ON YOUR NEIGHBOR- Coleman Smith and his lovely wife, Terri, have been married for 56 years. During 40 of those years, Terri had to say, "goodbye" to Coleman every April as he went off to work at his part time job with Pinkerton's for his assignment in Augusta, GA. Yes, Coleman was a Marshall at The Masters Golf Tournament for 40 years. Every player we watched on TV during those 40 years walked right by Coleman's assigned station on the first green at Augusta. Coleman's job was to make sure that the crowd was politely quiet as the golfers made their putts and chips on the green. Most of us Par Seekers have only dreamed of seeing the Masters.
After 40 years working as a pipefitter and part time Pinkerton guard, Coleman moved into our community five months ago at the suggestion of his daughter, Marie Van Meerten. In addition to his assortment of collectibles, Coleman's hobby is cutting down golf clubs for use by youngsters just starting the game of golf. When you meet Coleman, ask him about my practice swing of his Ping 3 wood.
Originally from Tampa, the Smiths will live at Mobel Americana year round. I hope to catch Coleman out on the golf course next season.

SEEK YE PAR NO LONGER - Well, it's happened. Somebody not only sought par, they actually found it! Norm Begin, in one of the last Par Seekers rounds of golf for the year, actually shot par! For you non-golfers, par means what one should theoretically be able to score on each hole. Pros almost always shoot under par. Amateurs like us Par Seekers almost always shoot over par. Good for Norm who broke that rule and shot par 63 at our favorite course, Mainlands. Way to go, Norm.

DISASTER SUPPLY KIT - For those of you who spend the summer at Mobel, here are some things you might want to have handy in case a hurricane hits. Actually, this works for those of us who escape the hurricanes only to face tornadoes!

Water 1 gallon daily per person for 3 days
Food - at least enough for 3 days
Clothing - seasonal/rain gear/sturdy shoes
Blankets/pillows, etc.
First Aid Kit, Medicines, Toiletries - Hygiene items, Moisture wipes
Flashlight/Batteries, some tools, Radio - Portable with batteries and NOAA weather
Cash - ATM cards may not work, fill vehicle fuel tanks.
Important documents (insurance papers, birth certificate) in a waterproof container
Plan ahead - Mobel is in a mandatory evacuation zone. Where will you go? What about your pets? Is your home as secure as possible? It has been 80 years since a hurricane hit St. Pete. Does that mean the odds are with us or against us?

A USEFUL WEBSITE - Here's a link to a very useful web site called Mobile Home Repair. Included are articles on maintenance and repair, legal actions affecting owners of manufactured and mobile homes, a forum for posting questions and getting advise, and similar. When you get a chance, check out www.mobilehomerepair.com

WHITE HOUSE BIRTHDAY GREETINGS - How about a personal greeting from the White House for a friend or relative? The only requirement is that the individual must be at least 80 years old. To request a card, write at least one month in advance to:

White House Greeting Office, OEOB,
Room 39, Washington,
D.C. 20502
Or Fax 202-395-1232

SUGGESTIONS WELCOME - Have some news from your club or group? Have an idea that you'd like to express in this column? Want your chance to be heard? We're in Wisconsin for the summer so email us at hopken@mindspring.com. Since we are away, we're particularly anxious to receive news items from those of you who spend the summer at Mobel!


Webb City
By Gerri Bassett
Anyone who lived here from 1930 into the 70's remembers the Worlds Most Unusual Drugstore, as Doc Webb proclaimed it on his billboards around the United States. He was a brilliant showman in the use of his gimmicks to attract attention and crowds. The dancing chickens, the live mermaid grotto and the two for one specials.
He was born in Nashville, Tenn., in 1899 and had to drop out of school at the age of nine after his father was injured in a truck accident. By the age of 20 he transformed himself into an entrepreneur of patent medicine. He was known as Doc. Webb and the name stuck throughout the rest of his long life. He lived in a colonial-style house in the Allendale section of town with his wife Aretta. At Christmas time his house and grounds were decorated so nice that people came to see it, including us.
Webb's City was its own world, located in downtown St, Petersburg, it employed thousands of people. During the worst years of the depression, he kept his business going. He started out as a co-owner of a small drugstore, introduced express lanes and one stop shopping. At its peak in the 1970s' it actually had 70 individual departments that spread through seven building on 10 city blocks. It included a florist, bakery, grocery store, meat market, hardware, clothing stores, cleaners, a big nursery, gas station, post office and cafeteria. Oh yes, and a drugstore. During the Second World War, he sold millions of dollars worth of war bonds at the store in four hours.
In 1974 Doc Webb sold stock, and built a grocery store on 66th street and Park Blvd. which eventually closed. It didn't seem to have the same effect on people like the downtown store. The fact is Curtis and I bought some stock but lost it, good thing we did not invest too much money.
Doc. sold the business in 1974 and it was closed in 1979 and Doc died in 1982 right here in St. Pete.
A Webb's City musical was made and we went to see it. I probably enjoyed it more than John because I was here and shopped when the parking lots were so full one could hardly get a place to park. Shoppers everywhere in the grocery store, there were 19 cash registers and the check out lines were long. But he always had plenty of the items he had on sale. He sold ice cream cones for 9 cents and we had plenty of them, haircuts were cheap also. I remember eating breakfast there for $1.29. Eggs, grits, toast and bacon and it was good.
Then at the gas station we would buy our gas there if the lines were not to long and we were down there shopping. It was a bargain at 29 cents a gallon, cheaper than anywhere else in town.
If you missed Webb's City here in St. Petersburg you missed a lot as far as I'm concerned, especially in its heyday. They were the talk of the town. When they closed part of St. Petersburg history was gone, just like the green benches. But the memories will always be there for me as long as I live.


NOTICES
Forecaster Deadlines
All items and other information for the Forecaster may be placed in the box just inside the entry doors to the Atrium. All items to be in BLACK INK on full size 81/2 by 11 paper. Deadline for August (now 5:00 pm); for general articles, the 19th of July, for last minute items, the 21st. Please note that the minimum font size is number eleven.
Monthly Bridge will be held July 17th at noon. It will be a brown bag luncheon. Dessert will be furnished, so bring a dollar. Prizes will be given. We need you to come or we will have to cancel for the summer.
Thank you to all who helped me celebrate my Birthday and to my husband John for the cake. It was a nice surprise that Sunday night at Duplicate Bridge. I also want to thank everyone for the cards and gifts and Esther for setting it up and Jo for taking the pictures. This is truly a great place to live with so many thoughtful people, almost worth being a year older. God has blessed me. Gerri Bassett

Duplicate Bridge
June 16, Gerri Bassett
1 Esther Louzon & Jo Waldron
2 Gerri & John Bassett
3 Elaine Laberge & Earl French

To Mount Madison Residents - Unfortunately no one has volunteered to deliver the Forecaster on your street from July through September, so please pick up your Forecaster at one of the laundries or at the main hall. If someone would like to volunteer, please give me a call. John Bassett
My apologies to Eiko and Edwin Nos for not publishing their 44th Wedding Anniversary in the June Forecaster. They were married on June 12th. Belated Happy Anniversary Eiko and Edwin.
And along the same lines, our congratulations to Vernon and Lenore Helson on their 60th wedding anniversary, which was on the 27th of June. Peggy Hubrich - Sunshine Lady

Many times I've read the 'thank you' notes for Cards and Well Wishes that individuals have received when they are in the hospital, sick, or have lost a loved one, etc.
Do you know what? These Well Wishes are from members in this Park, Mobel Americana; no wonder this Community is so well known and loved!!!
It's due to the Residents that make up this place, and for this, I thank you all, collectively.
Claire and Bill Hart


Fun at the Pier
Richard and Carolyn Norcross
Need a night out with lots of fun? Make it Thursday, July 18th from 5:00 PM to 8:00 PM at the Pier in downtown St. Petersburg.
The Downtowners, the band that plays in our park each year, will be at the Pier that night with great music for your listening and dancing pleasure. Bring someone with you. You're sure to have a wonderful time. And, best of all, it's free!


Forecaster Delivery System
By John Bassett
Mary Jane Hill and I were talking one day and she said, why don't you explain how the delivery system works. And I thought, what a good idea, so thanks Mary Jane for the idea.
Actually it's pretty simple, I have a number of people who have volunteered to do the door-to-door deliveries and one captain for each of the south and the north ends of the community. On the computer I keep an up to date list of all the people who deliver the Forecaster and the times of year when they are available. So each month I print out a list of all the people who will be doing the deliveries that month, and pass that list to each captain, along with the required number of Forecasters, that according to my records each will need. So each captain gets a current list of volunteers to do the door-to-door deliveries. So if there are any of you that can't deliver as planned please let a captain or me know. The Captains are Jo Waldron for the south side, and John Hill for the north side. Maury Fink is filling in for John for the summer.
When I submit the draft of the next month's Forecaster to the publisher, I let him know the number of copies I will need. Of course there are more copies needed in the winter than in the summer, so I go on historical patterns. Occasionally there are glitches but for the most part everything works out well.
I, and the community, could not do without the volunteers, so thank you to all who help in the work of distributing the Forecaster. Sometimes there are changes made in who will do the deliveries, and this usually happens when problems occur or the volunteers are no longer capable of getting out, or people move. So far I have had no real problems in working through these very occasional happenings, and hope it will remain so.
On an additional note, since November 2001, I have been receiving a draft, from the publisher of the Forecaster by email about 2/3 days after it has been submitted. This has given me an opportunity to do a final proof of the issue. Some things still do slip through, but I believe the number of typos has been reduced considerably. Also I now keep a record of each issue on a floppy (since Nov. 2001) so if you want any particular issue either give me one of your floppy's to copy it to or I can run off a copy for 50cents.


READ THIS VERY SLOWLY... IT'S PRETTY PROFOUND
Submitted by Lucy LaBerge
Too many people put off something that brings them joy just because they haven't thought about it, don't have it on their schedule, didn't know it was coming or are too rigid to depart from their routine. I got to thinking one day about all those women on the Titanic who passed up dessert at dinner that fateful night in an effort to cut back. From then on, I've tried to be a little more flexible. How many women out there will eat at home because their husband didn't suggest going out to dinner until after something had been thawed? Does the word "refrigeration" mean nothing to you? How often have your kids dropped in to talk and sat in silence while you watched 'Jeopardy' on television? I cannot count the times I called my sister and said, "How about going to lunch in a half hour?" She would gasp and stammer, "I can't. I have clothes on the line. My hair is dirty. I wish I had known yesterday, I had a late breakfast, it looks like rain." And my personal favorite: "It's Monday." She died a few years ago. We never did have lunch together. Because Americans cram so much into their lives, we tend to schedule our headaches.
We live on a sparse diet of promises we make to ourselves when all the conditions are perfect! -We'll go back and visit the grandparents when we get Steve toilet-trained. -We'll entertain when we replace the living-room carpet. We'll go on a second honeymoon when we get two more kids out of college. Life has a way of accelerating, as we get older. The days get shorter, and the list of promises to ourselves gets longer. One morning, we awaken, and all we have to show for our lives is a litany of "I'm going to--", "I plan on--", and "Someday, when things are settled down a bit." When anyone calls my 'seize the moment' friend, she is open to adventure and available for trips. She keeps an open mind on new ideas. Her enthusiasm for life is contagious. You talk with her for five minutes, and you're ready to trade your bad feet for a pair of Rollerblades and skip an elevator for a bungee cord. My lips have not touched ice cream in 10 years. I love ice cream. It's just that I might as well apply it directly to my stomach with a spatula and eliminate the digestive process. The other day, I stopped the car and bought a triple-decker. If my car had hit an iceberg on the way home, I would have died happy. Now . . . go on and have a nice day. Do something you WANT to, not something on your SHOULD DO list. If you were going to die soon and had only one phone call you could make, whom would you call and what would you say? And why are you waiting? Make sure you read this to the end. Have you ever watched kids playing on a merry go round or listened to the rain lapping on the ground? Ever followed a butterfly's erratic flight or gazed at the sun into the fading night? Do you run through each day on the fly? When you ask, "How are you?" Do you hear the reply? When the day is done, do you lie in your bed with the next hundred chores running through your head? Ever told your child, "We'll do it tomorrow." And in your haste, not see his sorrow? Ever lost touch? Let a good friendship die? Just call to say "Hi"? When you worry and hurry through your day, it is like an unopened gift. . . Thrown away... Life is not a race. Take it slower. Hear the music before the song is over. Show your friends how much you care. Send this to everyone you consider a FRIEND. If it comes back to you, then you'll know you have a circle of friends. Thanks for being my friend. Make yourself familiar with the angels and behold them frequently in spirit... For without being seen they are present with you.


FRIENDS OF THE LIBRARY
By Nora Adell Andrews

Questionnaire: What are the features you enjoy about our library?

"I like the way it is sectioned off so I can find a book on the subjects I like. I know I don't have to buy as many books because there are so many here in the library that I haven't read." Marcia Fay

"I like the fact that the library is so accessible, well-kept with the latest books."
Arlene Elwell

"I love how it is set up and the new bookcases look so great!"
Kay Jones.

We hope that you have visited our library sections and are enjoying reading this summer. We also have large print books, audios, and videos, and non-fiction books. There is no sign out sheet and no return date. The library is available whenever the clubhouse is open. Contact Rita Lewis for more information at 527-0693.


Dear Crafters
By Annette Solomon
How are those many gifted hands? Keeping busy making beautiful creations? It won't be long before we are all back in the clubhouse, meeting again and sharing ideas.
In the fall, before and after each MAA luncheon, we will display and sell our handmade items. We will also take orders. Our largest craft sale will be at the annual Craft Bazaar on November 30.
In October, we will resume classes in basic crochet, embroidery and counted cross-stitch. I'm sure some of you are saying, "I always wanted to learn these skills". Now is the time to join us. We have all levels of crafters. We meet on Mon, from 6 to 8 pm and Thurs. from 9 to 11 am all year tong. When classes resume, we will have a few more teachers to teach these basics. You may start and complete a project in one week. Most supplies and the instructions are free.
Looking forward to a great new year. See you there.


Potpourri - from the Editor's desk (additional contributions from Gerri Bassett and Lucy Laberge) Thought - You are richer today if you have laughed, given or forgiven.

Wise Sayings - Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.

Things you really need to know?? - The King of Hearts is the only King without a mustache.

Words to Live By - Happy memories never wear out.... relive them as often as you want.

Life's experiences - Laughter is one of the most healing activities around. If you are dealing with a loss, it's ok, even healthy, for you to seek out humor. Laugh and heal.

Things to think About - Apples, not caffeine, are more efficient at waking you up in the morning.

Truths - Best way to double your money is to fold it and put it back in your pocket.

Did you know - The first owner of the Marlboro Company died of lung cancer?

Random Thoughts - Have you ever ridden with a driver and wished you hadn't done so? Perhaps because they were an older driver whose skills had gone, and you didn't wish to hurt their feelings by saying something.
So maybe you'd prefer to hurt your bones!! Think about it, that's really the choice.

Church Bulletin Typos (again) Ed. note-I can't resist them.

Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24th, so ends a friendship that began in their schooldays.

Some tidbits I picked up in England (but you may have seen them already) - What is a "dinky"? I always thought it was a model (toy?). No, it's "Dual Income, No Kids Yet!" And how about a "woof?”? Well off, over fifty. But I suspect more of us are "woos's". Well off over sixty or seventy. How about woon's?
And have you ever heard of an "unadopted street?" Well that's a street owned by the residents, who are responsible for it's upkeep and maintenance.

Now this is Cute - A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was impossible for a whale to swallow a human because, even though it was a very large mammal, its throat was very small. The little girl stated that a whale swallowed Jonah. Irritated, the teacher repeated that a whale could not swallow a human, it was physically impossible. The little girl said, "When I get to Heaven I will ask Jonah". The teacher asked, "what if Jonah went to hell?" Then, said the little girl, you ask him.

A foursome of senior golfers hit the course with waning enthusiasm for the sport. "These hills are getting steeper as the years go by", one complained. "These fairways seem to be getting longer too", said another. "The sand traps seem to be bigger than I remember them", added another. Well, said the fourth, after listening to his buddies, "at least we're on the right side of the grass".

If you like one liners ?‘laughing stock?’: cattle with a sense of humor. Cats humor us because they know that their ancestors ate ours.


A Man and His Dog submitted
By Lucy LaBerge
A man and his dog were walking along a road. The man was enjoying the scenery, when it suddenly occurred to him that he was dead. He remembered dying, and that the dog walking beside him had been dead for years. He wondered where the road was leading them.
After a while, they came to a high, white stonewall along one side of the road. It looked like fine marble. At the top of a long hill, a tall arch that glowed in the sunlight broke it. When he was standing before it, he saw a magnificent gate in the arch that looked like mother of pearl, and the street that led to the gate looked like pure gold. He and the dog walked toward the gate, and as he got closer, he saw a man at a desk to one side.
When he was close enough, he called out, "Excuse me, where are we?"
"This is Heaven, sir," the man answered. "Wow! Would you happen to have some water?" the man asked. "Of course, sir. Come right in, and I'll have some ice water brought right up." The man gestured, and the gate began to open.
"Can my friend," gesturing toward his dog, "come in, too?" the traveler asked. "I'm sorry, sir, but we don't accept pets."
The man thought a moment and then turned back toward the road and continued the way he had been going with his dog.
After another long walk, and at the top of another long hill, he came to a dirt road, which led through a farm gate that looked as if it had never been closed. There was no fence. As he approached the gate, he saw a man inside, leaning against a tree and reading a book.
"Excuse me!" he called to the reader. "Do you have any water?"
"Yeah, sure, there's a pump over there." The man pointed to a place that couldn't be seen from outside the gate. "Come on in."
"How about my friend here?" the traveler gestured to the dog.
"There should be a bowl by the pump." They went through the gate, and sure enough, there was an old-fashioned hand pump with a bowl beside it. The traveler filled the bowl and took a long drink himself, and then he gave some to the dog. When they were full, he and the dog walked back toward the man who was standing by the tree waiting for them.
"What do you call this place?" the traveler asked.
"This is Heaven," was the answer.
"Well, that's confusing," the traveler said. "The man down the road said that was Heaven, too."
"Oh, you mean the place with the Gold Street and pearly gates? Nope. That's Hell."
"Doesn't it make you mad for them to use your name like that?"
"No. I can see how you might think so, but we're just happy that they screen out the folks who'll leave their best friends behind."
Sometimes, we wonder why friends keep forwarding jokes to us without writing a word, maybe this could explain: When you are very busy, but still want to keep in touch, guess what you do? You forward jokes.
When you have nothing to say, but still want to keep contact, you forward jokes. When you have something to say, but don't know what, and don't know how, you forward jokes. And to let you know that you are still remembered, you are still important, you are still loved, you are still cared for, guess what you get? A forwarded joke.
So my friend, next time you get a joke, don't think that you've been sent just another forwarded joke, but that you've been thought of today and your friend on the other end of your computer wanted to send you a smile.


Community Notices
There is located at the maintenance shed on Mount Piney Avenue an air pump that you may use to inflate your bicycle tires.
Newspapers and Magazine Recycling
All newspapers are to be placed in the newspaper bins. Please do not put brown paper or plastic bags in the newspaper bins. The bins are only for newspapers.
A magazine bin is located at the storage compound on Americana Drive. Please take all your magazines to this bin.
Aluminum Cans and Scrap Metal
Please put these out on Tuesdays only or take to one of the Old-timers Aluminum sheds. Do not put in the garbage compactor. It is for household garbage only.
Yard Brush and Tree Trimmings
Place all yard brush and tree trimmings at the side of the road separate from the garbage and it will be picked up. Do not put it with the regular garbage. This only increases the amount we must pay to have hauled away.
Help the Park - There is a shed at the Americana Drive compound where you can place your old phone books. By keeping as much as possible of all these materials out of the garbage we save on garbage hauling costs as well as generating some funds, not only for us, but also for a school that turns these in for recycling to raise school funds.
Bertram Zanaglio, MAROA Board member.