Americana Cove

Summertime Meltdown

Jul 31, 2002

PRAYER FOR AUGUST
Hello God:
Here we are in the 8th month of 2002. Again coming to thank You for Your goodness to us. The year seems to be galloping by. To soon the summer will be over for those fortunate ones in the cooler climes. We in Florida will be glad to have some of your cooler temperatures.
As we look at the calendar there are no special holidays for any of the religions.
Even the Christian Calendar has the Sundays listed as 18th to the 21st of Sunday in "Ordinary Times".
Nevertheless Your Blessings continue moment by moment for which we are eternally grateful.
Let us all take time to give you thanks no matter what our circumstances.
Also we must remember our friends and neighbors who always need prayer.
Thank You God.
Amen.
John Whittredge Hill, Chaplain.


MANAGERS REPORT
By Dawn Simmons
HELP:
We are in the planning stages of another remodeling project and could use some donations from our residents. If anyone has an old fly rod, fishing pole creel, bait bucket, stringer, flies or old lantern we would appreciate it.
We are also on the look out for OLD high-heeled shoes - FANCY hats and pocket book. A shawl and a 1930's style dress, beads and some large pieces of costume jewelry. Nothing valuable, Please!
Your contributions would be greatly appreciated.

NOTICE- BRUSH PICK UP.
THERE WILL BE NO BRUSH PICK UP DURING THE MONTH OF AUGUST & SEPTEMBER ON TUESDAYS. FRIDAY ONLY.
PLEASE REMEMBER TO PUT BRUSH OUT ON FRIDAYS!

THANK YOU
To Leo LaBerge for making the window flower boxes at the Mt. Pleasant Laundry.

NOTICE TO YARD CARETAKERS:
Any resident who is responsible for Northern resident's yard, please take a look at the weed problem. We have had a lot of rain and the weeds are really starting to take over the planters. I would appreciate the effort in taking care of these soon to eliminate notices being sent.
Thank you.

We are looking for a group of people (Mobel Americana) residents who would be interested in compiling some of our history. We have come across many old pictures and newspaper articles on our community; Gene Seawell has the material at this time and has volunteered to make copies of it all. If anyone is interested or has anything to add to the archives, Gene will copy it for us and return it to you. We would need some people who have literary knowledge or background in writing to put this together. Computer literate would also help. Contact Gene Seawell at 112 Americana Ct. NE or call him at 526-3243.

MT. PLEASANT LAUNDRY
If anyone has not visited the newly decorated laundry at Mt. Pleasant, please stop by and do so.
The inside and outside cost factor comes in at $1200. Thanks most of all to our great maintenance men, our painters Dick and Carl, Mike and Jeremy who did the carpentry and tile removal. Marge Gamble did a Thrift Store run and came back with baskets, plants and a huge painting.
Thanks to all for a superb job.

Note: On Friday, June 29th at 7:00 am our maintenance man discovered a Wicker Basket missing and a Room Deodorizer. PLEASE FOLKS these decorations are not for the taking. Do not force us to have to nail or super glue everything down. This just discourages us from continuing to decorate further if people are going to steal stuff. This is your community; we are just trying to make it a better place to live.

CLUBHOUSE
The bottom half of the walls in the main clubhouse were painted and chair molding installed. Then wallpaper border was put on the molding edge. Hope everyone enjoys the "New Look". The new tile floor is complete and the new furniture just sets it off in that area. What a bright appearance it gives to that section of the clubhouse.
A BIG THANKS TO Betty and her workers for their help in the project.

FIRST STREET FENCE LINE
Now that most of the shrubbery has been trimmed or removed, the maintenance men will be power washing and painting the stucco fence. After that is completed the landscaping will be done at the front entrances in a nautical theme.
The outside of the guardhouse will be painted to match the stucco fence.

MT. PINEY LAUNDRY
Residents are already asking about a face-lift for the Mt. Piney Laundry. This will be done also at a later date. The other scheduled projects have to be completed first.

GRASS CLIPPINGS
It has been reported to the Management Office that residents are throwing grass clippings and weeds into the canal.
Please put these into a bag and set out for pick up on Friday. Thank You.

ADDRESSES
Everyone who lives in Mobel Americana must put N.E. (Northeast) after their street address. We get mail delayed or not delivered because it does not have a N.E. on the address.

EMERGENCY CALLS
Anytime you have a power failure you are responsible for calling Florida Power. When Florida Power arrives and determines the problem is not their responsibility they will tell you that. If it is the Park's responsibility call 526-9141, during or after business hours. After hours the gatehouse answers the office calls. At no time is a resident to call any maintenance person at their home. We have a very capable staff on duty at the gatehouse to handle all calls. They are trained on whom to call in any situation.
Call Florida Power at 1 800 228 8485
I hope this is clear and you all will either call the office or the gatehouse and not our off duty employees.


WELCOME NEW RESIDENTS
By Frances McVay

BURNS, Thomas G. (FL)
448 Mt. Oak Avenue
Previously Yagel

DREUTZER, Blaine & Margaret (WI)
148 Americana Court 522-8566
Previously Stasca Estate
Moved from 7326 Americana Drive

KILBY, Donna J.
6837 Americana Drive
Previously Banks

MEYERDIERKS, Robert E. (NC)
674 Mt. Key Avenue
Previously Woodcock Estate

SHAUGER, David L. (PA)
7231 Mt. Arlington Drive
Previously Gross

VAN SICKLE, Jennifer & Robert (ONT)
7058 Mt. Bristol Road
Previously McConnell

WOOLEY, Ralph & Margaret
366 Mt. Saxon Avenue
Previously Waltz


M.A.A. NEWS
Paul Mattina, President
Our first event this month will be on Wednesday, August 7th, when MAA will host a free lunch at 12 noon. Bingo will follow. There will be no meeting scheduled. We will also have a 50/50, and tickets will be sold for the August 10th dinner. More on this later. Betty Chase is back manning (womaning?) the kitchen, so the meal will be a good one.
On Saturday, August 10th, we will be having a dinner, which we are calling the "No Reason At All Dinner", since there is no specific event on the calendar at that time. There will be an appetizer and salad bar beginning at 4:45 PM, with dinner at 5:30. The menu will be meat loaf, mashed potatoes with gravy, vegetables and salad. Coffee, tea and soda will be provided. After dinner we will have "game time", so bring your favorite board game to share with others. It should be a lot of fun to form small groups for dominos, monopoly, checkers or whatever game you might bring. Tickets for this event will be sold at Bingo on Friday, August 2nd and again at the free lunch Wednesday, August 7th. Ticket price will be $7.
Labor Day falls on September 2nd this year, too early in the month to be included in the September Forecaster, so we will give you the information now. We will be having a dinner as before, but with a Luau theme for the evening, with salad bar at 4:45 and dinner at 5:30. The entr?©e will be ham and chicken breast with the appropriate side items. Soda and a keg of beer will be provided. "Just Us and Company" will provide entertainment, and a sign-up sheet will be put up on the MAA bulletin board in the Clubhouse for all would-be performers who would like to participate. Don't be shy; you will have lots of company. We will also have a Talent Show, with a Luau theme. Tune up your voice, dust off that ukulele, shine your tap shoes and sign up on the sheet, which will also be put up on the MAA bulletin board in the Clubhouse. MAA will coordinate the talent acts to ensure a smooth performance. Prizes will be given for talent, and also for the best-decorated table, for the best men's costume and the best lady's costume.
Remember this will be a Luau theme. Tickets for the Labor Day dinner and entertainment will be $7, and tickets will be sold at Bingo on August 16th and again on August 23rd.
It's never too early to think about future events, so we'll take this opportunity to mention the upcoming annual Bazaar, to be held on Saturday, November 30th. Also, keep in mind that the White Elephant sale will be on the weekend of March 1st of next year. Anything that you might donate can be collected at any time and, except for really large and bulky items, can be stored between now and then. Just let me or any other MAA officer know.


SUNSHINE REPORT AUGUST 2002
PEGGY HUBRICH- SUNSHINE LADY

NURSING HOMES
Bob Evans Carrington Place
Jane Bryant Maria Manor
Mitzi Delzell Shore Acres
Erna Wring Carrington Place
Carl Rosenquist Westminister Shores

BIRTHDAYS
02 Shirley Laforce
05 Ruth Beauregard
06 Jeanette Stang
07 Fred Riesdorph
08 Kim Nemi
Kay Sebek
10 A. J. Kelleher
11 Elsie Cantos
Vic Richardson
Ralph Lang
12 Tee Phillips
Barbara Young
Alice Jones
13 Bill Kirk
14 Harriet Sigourney
Diana Rogers
15 Elaine Laberge
16 Betty Gibson
Dot Nemi
17 Roger Gerard
18 Claire Hart
20 Rolf Vobelt
22 Ted Latreille
Ed McGrath
Jo Waldron
Marge Gamble
26 Adele Seaman
27 Harold Sturm
28 Carl Slaugenhaupt

ANNIVERSARIES
01 Dot and Dick Nemi 44 years
02 Wanda and Jerry Spetz 50 years
03 Dolly and Bert Couture 17 years
07 Gene and Ted Latreille 48 years
20 Joanne and Tom Wallace
25 Marge and Ralph Lang 46 years
30 Alice and Doc Jones 61 years


MOBEL NOTES
By Ken Hopkins

CLUBHOUSE/LIBRARY IMPROVEMENTS - We're pleased to report that the new tile floor has been put down in the library area of the clubhouse. No more messy carpet with gravy spills. Thanks to the Kitchen Crew with a donation also from New England night to accomplish this improvement. To continue the improvements, newer furniture has been added to replace the sagging couches. Dawn's crew has also painted the bottom half of the room in light beige for a very relaxing look. The bulletin board project has been completed and the many plaques have all been relocated and placed for maximum effect. Glad somebody is working while we are all on vacation up north!

BUS SERVICE - Do you all know about Mobel's free bus service? It leaves the front of the clubhouse every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday at 9:30am and goes to Rutland, Gateway, and Northeast Malls with return pickup at 12:30. Just another benefit of living at beautiful Mobel Americana.

FEMA - As I write this, the floodwaters are rising in Texas and 13 counties have been declared a national disaster. This declaration, by the President, invokes the services of FEMA (Federal Emergency Management Agency) to provide recovery efforts for those affected by the disaster. Both Beck and I are part time FEMA employees called DAE's (Disaster Assistance Employee) and I thought I'd tell you a little of what FEMA does during a disaster. FEMA's main goal in any disaster is to help people repair their houses so that they can safely return to them. FEMA hires local contractors to inspect an affected home and determine what repairs are needed. FEMA will then issue a check for up to $5,000 to provide for those repairs. At the same time, they will pay the cost of a hotel or apartment for the family to live in while the repairs are being accomplished. If no suitable rental lodging can be found, they will even provide a travel trailer at the original homesite so the home owner has a safe place to live but can be close by to monitor repair progress. In the event that more than $5,000 is required for repairs, FEMA works closely with the SBA (Small Business Administration) who will offer the homeowner a low cost loan for whatever amount is necessary to finish the repairs. If the homeowner does not qualify for an SBA loan, they can return to FEMA and apply for yet another $20,000 to be used to finish the repairs, replace damaged furniture and belongings, even purchase a replacement auto. Since it is your tax dollar that provides this service, I thought you'd like to know how the money is spent. And be assured that Beck and I will keep on eye on things for you while we're on assignment with FEMA.

FASTER THAN THE SPEED OF LIGHT - The Internet is a wonderful thing. Information on virtually any subject can be gleaned literally at the speed of light. Unfortunately, misinformation can be passed at the same speed. Recently, a message appeared on our email listbot stating that the Rochester General Hospital recommended that if you thought you were having a heart attack, you should cough a lot and that would help the condition. The message implored all readers to send the message to at least 10 people to "help save lives". My wife went to the Rochester General Hospital website and they stated emphatically that they had never put out such information nor was it valid medically. I have recently received a couple of messages stating that, "a new virus had been sent around that could not be detected by any of the current anti virus programs but that it was a very bad hombre and you should immediately delete such and such a file from your computer if you find it." Turns out that this too was a hoax. The file in question was a standard part of the Windows operating system and should not be deleted. I received these messages from well-intentioned friends but the effect was to cause a great deal of difficulty. The bottom line on all of these is very clear. Make sure you know what you are sending around to your friends before you pass along false rumors.

GLOBAL WILDLIFE CENTER
While on our way north this spring, Beck and I stopped for a few days in New Orleans (Laissez le bon temps rouler) and as a side trip, visited the Global Wildlife Center. This fascinating place is located in Folsom, La., about an hour north of New Orleans. They have brought together a wonderful collection of African and Indian wildlife. For $9.00 (senior rate) they will seat you on a "safari wagon" pulled by a tractor as you tour this immense ranch. As you roam the grounds on your wagon, all manner of wildlife approach to be fed the pellets you have purchased before leaving. Zebras, Elands, Kudos, Springbok, Giraffe, Deer, Camels, Bison and others all approach your wagon to be fed. These are completely wild animals and Beck and I actually witnessed a Springbok being born in the field as we passed. Although wild, and your tour guide cautions not to leave the wagon, the animals know there's good eating in those wagons and they approach eagerly to be hand fed. It was a fascinating and enjoyable experience and we highly recommend it. You can reach the Global Wildlife Center at 985-624-WILD or www.globalwildlife.com.

SPOTLIGHT ON YOUR NEIGHBOR - Let's play word association. Computer - Conrad Weiser. Sure, everyone knows that Conrad is one of our resident computer gurus. He is active with our computer interest group, helped establish our Neighborhood Link web site, runs our ListBot, helped about 47 of our residents obtain recycled computers, and the list goes on. Originally from Philadelphia, Conrad retired from a career as a computer engineer (now, there's a surprise!) and settled into Mobel Americana four years ago. Conrad worked for Philco and Link, the company that invented the "Link Trainer" used in aviation to train pilots. In fact, Conrad spent many years as a licensed private pilot in his work with Link as a Tech Rep.
When not practicing his French with our Canadian brothers, Conrad has been very active working with the Police Community Resource Center and other community based groups in the area. He founded the Edgemoor Neighborhood Association, was instrumental in our involvement with the FreeNet system in St. Pete, and was quite involved with the Professional Placement Network. Conrad has a background in amateur theatre and we hope to see him in some future Mobel Americana production.
When asked about the biggest change he's seen at Mobel, Conrad responded, "the change in management". Conrad (not to be confused with our other Conrad; Weisner), has accepted another challenge within our community and is now the 1st Vice President of RAMA

SUGGESTIONS WELCOME - Have some news from your club or group? Have an idea that you'd like to express in this column? Want your chance to be heard? We're in Wisconsin for the summer so email us at hopken@mindspring.com. Since we are away, we're particularly anxious to receive news items from those of you who spend the summer at Mobel!


NOTICES
Forecaster Deadlines
All items and other information for the Forecaster may be placed in the box just inside the entry doors to the Atrium. All items to be in BLACK INK on full size 81/2 by 11 paper. Deadline for September (now 5:00 pm); for general articles, the 19th of August, for last minute items, the 21st. Please note that the minimum font size is number eleven.

Monthly Bridge will be held August 21st at noon. It will be a brown bag luncheon. Dessert will be furnished, so bring a dollar. Prizes will be given. We need you to come or we will have to cancel for the summer.
All things come to an end eventually, and so it is with my job as the editor of the Forecaster. I'm now going into my fourth year (where did the time go?) and in my opinion one should never stay in the same job too long. One can become jaded, and there are plenty of other people with other ideas to express. No, I'm not leaving immediately; we need to find someone capable and interested in doing the job. But by next spring at the latest I hope someone will take over. Dick Linville has offered to help me find a suitable person. So if you are interested please let me know. I should warn you that having a computer is almost a necessity. In fact I would not have taken the job on without a computer. I have enjoyed being the editor and hope you have enjoyed having me.

Submissions - Some of you who use typewriters are using faint ribbons. The Publisher's scanner cannot pick up this faint type. If you want to be sure your submission will be printed use a new ribbon every so often. Don't push your luck!
Duplicate Bridge - Sunday night July 14 we were able to get three tables so we played the Howell Movement and the winners were: 1st Jo Waldron & Esther Louzon, 2nd Gerri & John Bassett, 3rd Lucy & Roger LaBerge. Thanks to everyone for coming. Gerri Bassett Director


4th OF JULY REVUE
By Jo Waldron
Maybe it's because I'm feeling more and more like I have come home here at Mobel Americana or maybe it's the warmth of the people, but that Italian restaurant commercial that ends "When you're here, you're family", came to mind at our July 4th celebration.
Esther Louzon, who was in charge of ticket sales, reported that 117 chicken dinners were ordered from Churchs Chicken, that's a pretty good turnout for a mid-summer affair. The chicken was delicious and the watermelon, donated by Bob Larson was a perfect ending to the meal. And we mustn't forget the free beer and soda, what a bargain at $4 per person.
Lucky winner of the 50/50 was Mark Faxon. The leftover melons were also raffled off.
The entertainment by "Just Us & Company" was titled "July 4th Revue". It was produced and directed by Dorothy Kolb, assisted by Esther Louzon.
Kicking off the program was the "Spirit of '76" trio, Rene Renaud on the drum, Bill Hart the piper and Rick Birtcher, the flag bearer. Paul Mattina, dressed as "Uncle Sam, was the MC. He did a fine job, especially in his closing, when he reminded us all how fortunate we are to live in this great country.
Peggy Hubrich got the musical portion of the program off to a great start with "I'm A Yankee Doodle Dandy". Gloria Smolick did a solo, then was joined in a duet with "Tommy" Thomas. Men only sang "The Battle Hymn of the Republic".
A highlight of the program was a funny and informative skit on the history of our flag, done by (one of a kind) Ruth Brown portraying Betsy Ross.
Members of the chorus included: Esther Louzon, Dorothy Kolb, Wanda Spetz, Dotty Faren, Peggy Hubrich, "Tommy" Thomas, Rick & Jean Birtcher, Kay Jones, Paul and Connie Mattina, Rene Renaud, Gloria Smolick, Eleanor Kenny, Hazel Misciagna, Wilma Jones, John and Rachel Stewart, Mary Kelm, Dot Kimak, Bill Hart and Jo Waldron.
Of course, none of this would have been possible without the magic fingers of our gifted pianist Ferne Eppers. What a Talent!


FRIENDS OF THE LIBRARY
By Nora Adell Andrews
Questionnaire: How do you use our Library?

"I use it to find new books and authors that I haven't read before."
Nancy Hubartt

"I have to use large print books so I use that section of the library. I just read Old Songs in a New Caf?© that I enjoyed. I wish that section of large print books included more non-fiction books such as biographies." Helen Riggs

"I like to read and it is convenient to come up to the clubhouse and get books. I enjoy the library and the selections are large. I read family histories, and mysteries. There are no late charges and no sign outs which is important." Ann Collins

We wish that you visit our Library and check out the many varieties of reading materials that are available. Rita Lewis, our Head Librarian, can answer any questions.


NEIGHBORHOOD CRIME WATCH UPDATE
BY Barbara Magada

ST. PETERSBURG POLICE DEPT. SPONSORS OUR ANNUAL "NATIONAL NIGHT OUT" ON TUESDAY, AUGUST 6TH.
The St. Petersburg Police Department invites you to attend the annual "National Night Out" on Tuesday, August 6th. This FREE event will take place at the Woodlawn Park located at 13th Ave. and 16th Street North from 5:00 p.m. - 8:00 p.m.
This is a Neighborhood Watch, Crime Prevention event that the St. Petersburg Police for the past 18 years has sponsored.
National Night Out is designed to:
1.Heighten Crime and drug prevention awareness;
2.Generate support for, and anticipation in,
local anti-crime efforts
3.Strengthen Neighborhood spirit and Police
Community Partnerships;
4.Sending a message to criminals to let them know
that neighborhoods are organized and fighting
back.
Please tell your neighbors and join the fun. A Bike safety clinic will start at 5:00 p.m. with free bike helmets for children who participate. Helmet supply is limited, so get there early.
FREE Hot Dogs & drinks will be available as in past years.
Auto clubs for owner's high theft vehicles such as: Nissan Altima, Toyota Camry, Saturn, Dodge, Chrysler and 1980 General Motors Vehicles. You must have your Florida Drivers license and Vehicle Registration and also live in St. Petersburg. K-9 DEMO, displays & entertainment. Checkout Police web page @www.stpete.org/sppd & click on national night out for further information.
See you there!


THE WAY IT WAS
Gerri Bassett

About the first place we went was Busch Gardens in Tampa, home of the famous Anheuser-Busch Beer. We went there even as tourists. At that time it was free to get in and there was always a free Bird show, and lots of flowers and pretty walks ways and you could go through the Brewery. Then stop at the Hospitality House for a free beer, it was always crowded in the season.... Today it has gotten so big that you cannot see it all in one day, no more Brewery tours but you can still get a free beer and on a warm day its tastes good. I always enjoy the animals and at one time you could get a monorail ride over the animals. There was also the famous Swiss House were you could eat. At the gate today it costs $45.68. But it is well worth seeing. I have been there many times and always enjoy it, they are always adding news things, rides and animals.
And there was also Sunken Gardens; they had billboards for miles before we got to St. Petersburg. What is this place? It is located right on 4th Street so it was handy to visit. A beautiful garden with a bird show and the Worlds Largest Gift Shop with a Wax Museum of the King of Kings. A collection of life size wax figures depicting the birth, life, death and resurrection of Jesus Christ. The Museum of Religious Arts in Logan, Iowa finally purchased the wax museum. It looked so real, the most real life display I have ever seen. There was also a shady trail about a mile long where you could stroll. There was the butterfly house, wishing well, birds, baby alligators and a rainforest like canopy of trees and flowers. We always took our visitors there. The Turner family bought Sunken Gardens in 1967; previously it was the Public Market and one of St. Petersburg's first malls. Than it was a National Guard Armory and a Coca-Cola bottling plant that opened in 1940. According to what I read it actually started out as an open air market when it was first built, way before my time in St. Petersburg. I first came here in the winter of 1965 on a 4-week vacation. The Turner family finally put it up for sale and the large gift shop was closed and a much smaller one was opened. After 8 years, the city finally ended up buying it and reduced the admission charge. At Christmas it is just beautiful there with all the extra Christmas music and decorations. In 2002 they're restoring the building that was built in 1926. The Great Explorations museum is going in where the large gift shop used to be with new restrooms and a restaurant. The gardens will still be open with the bird show and the beauty of nature with paths to walk and enjoy. The gift shop will be there but much smaller.
I also remember when the newspaper was free if the sun did not shine at all during the day, there was a reason Florida was called the Sunshine State. But they did away with that years and years ago. Florida was the 27th State, Capital is Tallahassee, Bird is the Mockingbird, and Flower is the Orange Blossom and the Song Suwannee River. Nickname Sunshine State and Motto IN GOD WE TRUST.
We also used to go to Ponderosa on 4th Street on Tuesday nights to get a rib eye steak, salad and baked potato and roll for the small sum of $1.25. Was there a line? You bet, we always went after the shuffle game with friends. On Sundays we would drive to Clearwater and watch the fishing boats come in with their fish. They would clean some of them and the fish would be for sale, can't get much fresher than that. Then we would go to a restaurant and have all the grouper you could eat for $1.00. It was good. Today grouper is very expensive; it is one of my favorite fishes if prepared right. Finally one time we went back to have the fish dinner and it was gone and the space was made into a parking lot. Here today and gone tomorrow, so we have to enjoy things today, this was before 1968 when we came as tourists.
There were a few dinner theaters around at that time to, and the first time we went to see Dial M for Murder. The price was $1.50 and a buffet also was included. The park had at that time a recreational director and he got a good deal for the park residents. Today all of the dinner theaters are gone from this area and you have to go to Hudson about 35 miles away.
There was also the famous Kapok Tree restaurant in Clearwater where everyone took visitors. A Chinese brought the seed and planted the tree right out front. To eat, there were lots of separate rooms. They all were named and the one I liked the best was the Grand Ballroom. It had a grand piano but we didn't always get that room. In the heydays you took what they gave you and the food was served family style and always the same except for the entr?©e. Most people took the chicken; it was only $2.99, served with corn fritters, fresh green peas, and beets and potatoes. People came for the gardens as well as the foods and drinks and atmosphere. Then the owner died and the children sold it and it closed a short time later. All good things come to an end sooner or later. Today it is a music center where mostly pianos and organs are sold. The people that went there miss it believe me.
I hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I have enjoyed sharing it with you....


SOME PEOPLE AND MODERN TECHNOLOGY JUST DON'T GET ON
Submitted by Keith Mann
(This guy should have been promoted, not fired.)

This is a true story from the Word Perfect Helpline, which was transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care department. Needless to say the Helpdesk employee was fired; however, he is currently suing the Word Perfect organization for "Termination without Cause". Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee (now I know why they record these conversations!)
"Ridge Hall computer assistance; May I help you?"
"Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect." "What sort of trouble?"
"Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away."
"Went away?"
"They disappeared."
"Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?"
"Nothing."
"Nothing?"
"It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."
"Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?" "How do I tell?"
"Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?"
"What's a sea-prompt?"
"Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?"
"There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type."
"Does your monitor have a power indicator?"
"What's a monitor?
"It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV."
"Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?"
"I don't know."
"Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that?"
"Yes, I think so."
"Great. Follow the cord to the plug and tell me if it's plugged into the wall."
"Yes, it is."
"When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?"
"Well there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable."
"Okay, here it is."
"Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer."
"I can't reach."
"Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?"
"Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?"
"Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's because it's dark."
"Dark?"
"Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window."
"Well, turn on the office light then."
"I can't."
"No? Why not?" "Because there's a power failure."
"A power . . . A power failure? Aha, Okay, we've got it licked now."
"Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in?"
"Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."
"Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from." "Really? Is it that bad?"
"Yes, I'm afraid it is."
"Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?"
"Tell them you're too 'bloody' stupid to own a computer." (Only he didn't use the word "stupid" if you follow my drift - probably from the same family that opened a hot coffee in a moving car)


MOBEL AMERICANA DAY ON SUNSET LAKE
Dick & Gail Jones invite residents to attend their annual picnic at their cottage Wednesday, August 28, 2002. Come as early as you can. We will eat about 12:00 noon. The meat, beverage, utensils and plates furnished. You may bring one casserole, salad or dessert. Directions from Alton Bay, New Hampshire. From Alton Bay blinker light, Up Rand Hill Road .7 mile turn left on to Alton Mountain Rd. 1.9 mile to Avery Hill Rd. turn left 2.7 to Places Mill Rd. Turn Rt .9 mile to Levitt Rd. turn Right, follow the signs on the trees to the cottage. Phone: 603-364-6310. Looking forward to having a nice outing.


EXERCISE CLASS ON AGAIN!
An informal, anyone welcome, exercise group will return to its regular exercise time in the Atrium in August on Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 8:15 AM. The group will follow instructions via videotapes from Sally as well as "Body Electric." The 45 minutes include warm-ups, stretching, aerobics, strength and tone, use of lightweights, and a cool down time. Participation at one's own individual level is possible and encouraged! See you on Monday, August 5th at 8:15 AM.
If you have any questions, please call Sharon Miller at 527-8150.


FROM ONE NEIGHBOR TO ANOTHER
By Jo Waldron
You've outdone yourself in preparing a delicious dinner, it's on the table, you are seated and just said "Amen", the moment has come to start passing around your delectables. The phone rings. The party at the other end says "We will be in your area tomorrow and are offering a free inspection of" - Whatever.
Or how about this one, you have your shopping list in hand, and, let's see.... purse, keys, umbrella, returns, etc. You are out the door; you lock the door and head down the steps. Oh No! The phone! You hurriedly unlock the door; throw down your "stuff" and dash for the phone. You guessed it; they are in your neighborhood again tomorrow!
Or how about the one when you are in the shower?
The one's that sent me over the brink were when they began using my answering machine for their messages - and not short one's either, they seemed to go on and on.
When it got to the point that I dreaded answering the phone near dinnertime or worse yet, started fibbing, saying "I'm just the baby sitter" or "I'm only renting here". Worse than that though, I started planning revenge, like blowing a whistle in their ear or asking them for their home phone number. I never did either of those but the plotting gave me a perverse pleasure.
No, this article is not intended to whip everyone into frenzy and organize retaliation. I do have a solution, for just $10 the first year and $5 each year thereafter, the Florida Dept. of Agriculture Consumer Affairs Division will put your phone number on a "Do not call list" and this is the best part, if they do call, you ask them their company name and their name, note the day and time and send in a prepared card. There is a healthy fine to be paid if they disregard the ruling. I'm a little disappointed; I haven't been able to take advantage of this feature since I enrolled in the program. It's working great.
If you are online you can go to their Web site at 800helpfla.com, all the information is there and you can print out the form and send it in. Or, the toll free telephone number is 800-435-7352 (helpfla).


POTPOURRI - from the Editor's desk (additional contributions from Gerri Bassett and Lucy Laberge)
Thought - A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.
Wise Sayings - A skeptic is a person who when he sees the handwriting on the wall, claims it's a forgery.
Things you really need to know?? - The first novel written on a typewriter: Tom Sawyer
Words to Live By - We take for granted the things that we should be giving thanks for.
Life's experiences - By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.
Things to think About - Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing.
Truths - Cleaning your house while kids are growing up is like cleaning your driveway in the middle of a snowstorm.
Did you know - Oak trees do not produce acorns until they are fifty years of age or older. - I guess there's hope for us yet.
Random Thoughts - So you thought price fixing didn't exist. Try booking a discounted airline ticket with less than seven days notice.
Church Bulletin Typos (again) Ed. note-I can't resist them. Potluck supper Sunday at 5 pm. Prayer and medication to follow.
A husband is advised by a psychiatrist to assert himself. "You don't have to let your wife henpeck you. Go home and show her who is the boss". Of course the husband takes the doctor's advice. He rushes home, slams the door, shakes his fist in her face and growls, "from now on, you're taking orders from me. I want my supper right now, and when you get it on the table, go upstairs, and lay out my best clothes. Tonight, I'm going out with the boys and you are going to stay at home where you belong. And another thing... Do you know who's going to comb my hair, adjust my pants, and then tie my bow tie?" I certainly do", said his wife calmly. "The undertaker".
Nostalgia - Did you know that a new streetcar line is to start operation in Tampa in October 2002?
Quick now, what are the names of the two apartment complexes outside the entrance to the community? Gotcha, and you've lived here how many years?


HOW TO CALL THE POLICE
Submitted by Lucy Laberge

George Phillips of Meridian was going up to bed when his wife told him that he'd left the light on in the garden shed, which she could see from the bedroom window.
George opened the back door to go turn off the light but saw that there were people in the shed stealing things. He phoned the police, who asked, "Is someone in your house?" and he said no.
Then they said that all patrols were busy, and that he should simply lock his door and an officer would be along when available. George said, "Okay," hung up, counted to 30, and phoned the police again.
"Hello. I just called you a few seconds ago because there were people in my shed. Well, you don't have to worry about them now cause I've just shot them all." Then he hung up. Within five minutes three police cars, an Armed Response unit, and an ambulance showed up at the Phillips residence. Of course, the police caught the burglars red-handed.
One of the policemen said to George: "I thought you said that you'd shot them!"
George said, "I thought you said there was nobody available!"

HOPES AND TEARS
By Al Nosek

All of the years Lord
I offer to Thee
The hopes and tears, the joy and the pain
That this place holds for me
I'll make the day, whatever it be
Pain or strife, in good times and sorrow
Give me strength for the next tomorrow
Through veiled future Lord
Be this my prayer, my plea
Every day, listen to me
And when you answer, you'll comfort me
And I will be ever grateful to Thee
My days will be as bright as they can be
Thank You God, for listening to me.


COMMUNITY NOTICES
There is located at the maintenance shed on Mount Piney Avenue an air pump that you may use to inflate your bicycle tires.
Newspapers and Magazine Recycling
All newspapers are to be placed in the newspaper bins. Please do not put brown paper or plastic bags in the newspaper bins. The bins are only for newspapers.
A magazine bin is located at the storage compound on Americana Drive. Please take all your magazines to this bin.
Aluminum Cans and Scrap Metal
Please put these out on Tuesdays only or take to one of the Old-timers Aluminum sheds. Do not put in the garbage compactor. It is for household garbage only.
Yard Brush and Tree Trimmings
Place all yard brush and tree trimmings at the side of the road separate from the garbage and it will be picked up. Do not put it with the regular garbage. This only increases the amount we must pay to have hauled away.
Help the Park - There is a shed at the Americana Drive compound where you can place your old phone books. By keeping as much as possible of all these materials out of the garbage we save on garbage hauling costs as well as generating some funds, not only for us, but also for a school that turns these in for recycling to raise school funds.
Bertram Zanaglio, MAROA Board member.