Americana Cove

Hey- them hot `n hazy are back!

Jun 30, 2003

PRAYER FOR JULY
Almighty and Most Merciful God we come before you with thanksgiving on our lips for the freedoms of speech, the press and religion.

We feel very patriotic this month when we celebrate Independence Day on the 4th~

Our coins and bills all say ?“In God we trust?”. Do we? Or do we trust in the material things money represents!

In our pledge of allegiance to our flag we say,?”----One Nation under God?” Yet there are those who would have these words removed.

We have thrust you out of our schools by forbidding prayer and reading of the Bible.

We have allowed freedom to be used to let pornography and satanic music etc. invade radio, movies, TV and cyberspace. How then can we say, ?“Why does God allow this??” Let us all realign our thinking and remember the words of Scripture, ?“Love your neighbor as you love yourself?” We repent and ask Your forgiveness, Amen.
John Whittredge Hill, Chaplain


OUR FLAG
By Elaine Toms

All my life I have appreciated our flag. I was born in Korea and my birth was registered in the American consulate as a daughter of American citizens, temporarily residing abroad. Early in life I knew that I was an American and that our flag represented our country. I also felt sorry for the Koreans since they were forbidden to have their flag since Japan had annexed Korea before I was born.

When I was six years old, we were coming to America by way of Europe. Of the second class passengers on our steamship, the Toms family were the only Americans. We were sailing on the Mediterranean Sea on the fourth of July. In celebration, my parents, two brothers and I wore red white and blue, and had an American flag on our table in the dining room. From England we sailed across the Atlantic Ocean and on August 1st into New York harbor, past the Statue of Liberty and docked at Hoboken, New Jersey. On the dock to meet us were my Grandmother and Aunt Geneva who was waving a silk American flag. She gave it to me as I set foot on American soil for the first time. I have kept it and it is here.

Growing up, I cheerfully repeated the oath of allegiance to the flag and observed the holidays when it is honored: Decoration?—Memorial Day, the 4th of July, and Armistice-Veterans Day. It is fitting that our flag should have a day of its own which we celebrate on June 14th. When I was in service, I learned that not only senior officers should be saluted but also the flag when one passes it... or is passed by a flag in a parade.

Having lived in the Washington, DC area for 24 years, I was well aware of the flag flying over the Capitol, the flags around the Washington Monument and those in Arlington Cemetery honoring those who honorably, served our country. For 18 years, I lived at Mobel Americana in St. Petersburg, FL where our flag was flown daily. At our Wednesday luncheons we repeated the oath of allegiance. Also at the start of all Shuffleboard tournaments we had either the oath of allegiance or the national anthem.

It is with great joy that I see our flag fly here at Covenant Village of Cromwell, Conn.

I SALUTE THEE, OLD GLORY


INFORMATION REGARDING OUR REAL ESTATE DEALER
Paul Mattina, President, MAROA
For some time now, residents of the park, as well as the Board of Directors, have been aware of a growing concern regarding the lack of progress in filling the empty lots around the park, particularly the large number of quad lots. Although it was not included in the contract with our current dealer, Meadowood Homes of Pinellas, it was promised that several spec (sample) homes would be brought in and, as each was sold, a replacement spec home would be brought in. Only one was erected, on Americana Drive, across from the office, and was soon sold. No new home was brought in to replace it until the Board agreed to take in a model home that was on the dealer?’s lot for a year, but was never titled. This home has been installed on Americana Drive on a quad lot, across from the storage area. It is now up for sale. We have never had the number of spec homes that we anticipated on a constantly revolving replacement basis.

In addition, a number of residents who have put in new homes purchased through our current dealer have registered a number of complaints regarding the sales process, long wait for home delivery, problems with installation, questionable quality and poor follow up service with needed corrections after the installation.

In order to better evaluate customer satisfaction with this dealer and to make a fair comparison with new homes sold and installed in the past, we did a survey measuring the same number of homes installed by each. Questionnaires were sent to the nine purchasers of Meadowood homes, and nine to the purchasers of the last nine homes installed by the previous dealer, Nick Ferraro and Co. The questionnaires asked about satisfaction with the sales process, delivery, installation, follow-up service, and whether the buyer would buy again from this dealer and would recommend this dealer to a friend. The results substantiated what we already suspected.

Of the nine responses from buyers of Meadowood homes, eight were decidedly negative in most, if not all, responses to each of the questions. Only one was a positive response.

Of the nine respondents from Nick Ferraro?’s buyers, all nine were positive in their answers to most, if not all, questions asked.

Our only conclusion was that if we wanted the progress we anticipated we would have to make some changes. The Board decided that in order to do so, we would have to replace our dealer with a new one. We exercised our contractual option and sent a letter to Paul Kroll/Meadowood Homes of Pinellas, that we would be giving him a 90-day notice of cancellation of our contract. The only other dealer in Pinellas County is Nick Ferraro and Co. Several of us met with him to discuss our options, and came to an agreement, subject to a contract acceptable to both parties, to have him, as our new dealer. As of this writing, there are still some details to be worked out and included in our contract.

It must be understood that this new company will be responsible for the sale and installation of new homes within our park. In addition, this company will be responsible for rentals, relieving Board members who have undertaken this task. The park will no longer have a separate contract with the sales office, as has been done in the past. Nick Ferraro & Co. will have their own contract for sales and rentals, and will continue to use the current office space. Mary Sweetin and Rosie will work directly for Nick?’s company. In addition, the advertising and marketing of our park and new homes will be the responsibility of the new dealer, in consultation with our management. In this regard, the dealer will match every dollar spent from our advertising budget, thereby doubling the effectiveness of our marketing plan.

It must be further understood that although Nick Ferraro?’s name is familiar to many in the capacity as our former manager, and might evoke strong feelings pro or con, he and his company will have absolutely nothing to do with managing our park. He and his company will have one primary function here, and that is to market, sell and install new homes in our park. A secondary function will be to handle rentals.


FROM THE MANAGER:
Dawn Simmons

POOL SHOWERS:
It has been brought to my attention by several residents that we still are having persons using the pool showers as their own personal bathrooms.

We have had signs done stating ?“Shaving, shampooing and bathing is not permitted?”. The bath house purpose is to shower the chemicals off after using the pool and toilet facilities. We have an outside shower to use before and after entering the pool to rinse off. This should be sufficient. Residents have witnessed other residents who don?’t even use the pool, coming to shower and shampoo on a daily basis. This is not acceptable and will no longer be allowed.

PINELLAS COUNTY HEALTH DEPT.
The Pinellas County Health Dept. paid us another monthly visit and once again we were cited for fruit on the ground.

Folks?—we need your help here. Call me if you have a neighbor, who has departed for the season and they have fruit on the ground so I can call them or get their caretaker to pick up the fruit. This is the third month in a row we have been cited. This cannot keep happening. Our Rules clearly state ?“fruit?” is to be stripped from the trees before leaving for the season.

For our residents who have fruit trees in their yard and no longer want the fruit or are unable to pick it you need to make arrangements to have the trees removed from your yard.

The gleaners who came to pick were a disappointment. They only had six or eight volunteers who worked hard all day, but did not put a dent in what we needed picked. When the fruit falls to the ground it is eaten by ugly citrus rats and lies on the ground to rot.

It is not the park maintenance responsibility to pick up the fruit or to cut the trees down. It is the homeowner who bears the burden of stripping the tree and keeping the fruit off the ground.

WATERING DAYS:
Please make sure your sprinklers are set on one (1) day a week only. Many residents have returned north and it appears their sprinklers were not adjusted to the odd and even schedule that was put in place in April.

If you are a caretaker for a seasonal resident, please adjust the timers accordingly. Now that we are receiving record amounts of rainfall weekly it is not necessary to sprinkle lawns twice a week.


WELCOME NEW RESIDENTS
By Frances McVay

CHAMBERLAIN, George & Betty (PA)
6913 Mt. Orange Drive 527-1928
Moved from 7133 Mt. DeLeon
Previously Whitley

ERNST, James & Janice (CT)
386 Mt. Saxon Avenue
Previously Higgins

ESPOSITO, Betty (GA)
DAVIS, Thomas J.
6920 Americana Drive
Previously Wallace

GENHART, Eduard & Calliope (HI)
660 Mt. Piney Avenue
Previously Nernberg

GRAY, Joe & Marsha (IN)
6827 Mt. Pleasant Road
Previously Pettit

PASCU, Michael & Rosalinda (NY)
213 Mt. Isle Avenue
Previously Hamisak

RYAN, Sharon (RI)
7138 Mt. Hawthorne Road
Previously Denny Estate


SUNSHINE REPORT JULY 2003
PEGGY HUBRICH

DEATHS:
George Campbell
Dick Jones
Esther Louzon

HOSPITAL:
Margaret Hungerford St. Anthony
Edith Harmon Edward White
NURSING HOMES:
Claire Mueller Grace Health Care
Mitzi Delzell Shore Acres
Bob Evans Carrington Place
Bob Ortel Carrington Place

BIRTHDAYS:
02 Nina Larsen
04 Harriet Day
Dick Fay
05 Edwin Nos
06 Richard Fisher
Phyllis Conlisk
07 Loretto McNiff
08 Jim Mitchell
09 Gerry Kirby
10 Doreen McGrath
11 Vivian Linville
Clarissa Steakley
12 Adele Thomas
14 Cameron Shults
16 Barbara Higgins
18 Dorothy Kolb
23 Len Berg
24 Nancy Hubartt
25 Sally Corliss
29 Bill Swartout
31 Marie Costanzo

ANNIVERSARIES:
01 Lorraine and Howard Brown 53 years
14 Barbara and Jack Young 41 years
20 Doreen and Ed McGrath 46 years
21 Cecile and Bob Lescarbeau 13 years
26 Sharon and Jerry Miller 44 years
31 Loretta and Don Berg 04 years


ESTHER LOUZON
At the last crime watch meeting of the season, Barbara Magada shared with us some thoughts about our dear Esther Louzon.

Someone is missing today at our Crime Prevention meeting. Esther Louzon. Perhaps you didn?’t know her as well as some of us did, but SHE was our own ?“Little Ball of Fire?”. She kept herself busy with the bridge clubs, bingo, MAA, Old Timers, and Red Hat Ladies, chauffeuring residents to the airports, doctor appointments, and Crime Prevention meetings and as a volunteer at the Sunrise Resource Center for the past eight years. She volunteered for everything, such as filling in for absentee officers at luncheon meetings and bingo calling. And she was also a member of the Garden Club and the Melodears.

In other words a Professional Volunteer for the residents of Mobel Americana. She weighed in at 100 pounds or less, soaking wet and only four foot, ten inches tall. She drove her red Buick like a real pro. I know because I was a grateful passenger many times.
We sure will miss our beloved Esther. A valuable resident since 1978 (25 years). She will be remembered in our prayers.


IN MEMORY
By Betty Chase

Our ?“Chocolate lady?”; short and sassy,
What a lovely little lady.
Esther felt her dues to pay,
And ?“no?” was not a word to say!

She shared with us part of her soul,
We?’ll not forget her special role
And as the Christmas time draws near,
Our ?“Drummer Boy?” will still appear.

Life is so much like a dance,
Sometimes, just as if by chance,
A ?“song?” all comes and fills your heart,
A friendship cherished from the start.

God sends us angels to guide our way,
So, Esther?’s with us still today.
And as our memories we share
We face another empty chair.


MOBEL NOTES
By Ken Hopkins
OKC
It was May 8th when the tornado struck Oklahoma City. Two days later another arrived. Beck and I had just left Florida and were dragging our 8,000 lb. 5th wheel travel trailer north on our way to our summer camp in Wisconsin. The call from FEMA came on our cell phone. Could we come to Oklahoma City? Well, yes, but not right now. So we continued north and landed in beautiful Milton, Wisconsin. We had one day to dump the trailer, open the camp, mop up the water from the broken water line, and hop on a plane for OKC. Unlike our experience with the Louisiana hurricanes, the Oklahoma tornadoes were very limited in scope. There was a path of damage through the city from southwest to northeast but many homes only had minor damage. The capricious nature of tornadoes is amazing. You see one house totally destroyed and right next door not even the TV antenna is twisted. Amazing. When we arrived in Louisiana last year, we got there just in time to sit out the landfall of Hurricane Lili, safe in our hotel rooms. Well, now I had the experience of sitting out a tornado in a tornado shelter. Wow, really scary. That one missed us by 5 miles. This was our first visit to Oklahoma City and it was a discovery for both of us. Think of Oklahoma and what do you think of? Cowboys and Indians right? Us too. Well they are there to be sure but OKC is a very cosmopolitan city with all sorts of delights that we discovered in layers, just like peeling an onion. One day we found the Vietnamese village with all sorts of yummy restaurants, then Chinatown, then the Mexican area. Well, you get the idea. Beck and I both felt a strong need to honor the 168 people who died here at 9:02 A.M. on April 19, 1995 so we visited the Oklahoma City National Memorial now administered by the National Park Service. The citizens of OKC have created a stirring and fitting monument celebrating the lives and mourning the deaths of those victims of a madman full of blind anger. 0KG is well worth a visit but don?’t do it in May. They have tornado warnings every other day.

GOODBYE ESTHER
Gee, if I had only known about Esther before we left Florida, I?’d have made it a point to go by and say ?“goodbye?”. But I didn?’t know. Nor suspect. Esther was such a bright light, full of love and energy. It never occurred to me that something might go wrong with her. I remember years ago calling a friend at his office and they told me, ?“he?’s gone.?” ?“What do you mean gone??” I said. ?“Where did he go??” That?’s when I first learned that you don?’t always get a chance to say goodbye. Indeed I learned that if you love somebody, admire them, respect them, or just like them; better tell them when they?’re around. Later might be too late. Goodbye, Esther. You brought a little light into my life.

SPOTLIGHT ON YOUR NEIGHBOR
One of the delights of writing this column is the sense of discovery as I visit with our neighbors and find out things we wouldn?’t imagine without our asking. For example, Joseph Michael Gerhard (and his cat Rocky) is a frequent contributor to our Listbot and many of us know him from there, but I never would have dreamed that he worked as a Russian translator at one time. Since Joseph hails from near Corpus Christi, Texas I would have anticipated a little Spanish, but Russian? Just shows where our life experience will take us. Joseph has been here at Mobel for three years. Joseph grew up on a cattle ranch and did his share of ranching and farming but later spent 8-1/2 years with the Air Force, including three years service in London. Leaving the air force, he went to work for the Social Security Administration specializing in publications management and library science (Rita Lewis, are you listening?) with assignments in the Baltimore area and North Carolina prior to his move here. His activity as a volunteer fireman and EMT now behind him, Joseph enjoys gardening and has just joined the ranks of boaters, with his newly acquired pontoon boat. A frequent contributor to the Listbot, Joseph has recently been recruited by the Forecaster and will have periodic articles in there as well. Joseph lives near one of the areas severely affected by this winter?’s ?“grass wars?” and feels that some improvement in the Park?’s appearance would be welcome.

FIRE!!
Thanks to on-the-scene reporter (and fellow columnist) Joseph Michael Gerhard for the following report on the recent fire at slip # 6 at our community dock. Sunday morning, about 9:30, I walked to slip no. 9 to do some boat chores. When I neared slip no. 6 I saw a man standing by and I heard the sound of rushing water. Turns out the rush was because the water pipe under the walkway had burned through. The piling itself at that level had burned through about halfway and several boards in the walkway were badly burned. I asked who discovered the fire and the man standing by said that he had. Not long after Jeremy appeared. Later, Mike. I believe I saw Rosie at the scene. I got the impression that the fire dept. had not been summoned. If not, I hope that will be done so that the cause and origin of the fire will be determined as well as whether an accelerant was involved. I hope the fire was accidental. (Ed. note ?– it was) By the way, there has been in the past a round aluminum trouble light at No. 6 with a timer attached. I noticed it at the scene. Later on it was gone. I do not remember if it was plugged into the electrical outlet or not when I first observed the fire scene around 0930 on Sunday. Thank you, Joseph. A good report and a clear caution to the unattended use of electrical devices around combustible materials. Management is aware of the details of this incident and is working on correcting the cause as well as repairing the damages.

REVERSE OSMOSIS
If you haven?’t heard this term before you will. This is the technique that Tampa Water is now using for their desalination program. About 10% of the drinking water in our area is produced by this technique so, during these quiet times of summer, I thought I would tell you a little about this. Imagine a sieve like you use to drain spaghetti except imagine that the holes are so microscopically small that only certain molecules can squeeze through and everything else, like your spaghetti is caught by the sieve. The sieve in question is a special type of filter referred to as a ?“semi-permeable membrane?”. Semi permeable because only some things can get through, namely water molecules, while salt molecules are trapped and retained by the membrane. All this is done under pressure to squeeze the water through thus producing pure drinking water from salt water. Neat, eh? Now, the catch. What do you think happens to all that salt they remove from the water? Yep, they dump it back in Tampa Bay. Environmentalists fear that over time, adding all that salt back into the water will increase its natural salinity affecting animal and plant life in the Bay. Tampa Water says not to worry; all this salt is diluted by them before dumping back into the Bay so there is no problem. Time will tell.

DRIVERS WANTED
Yes, there are still a limited number of openings for volunteers to drive our COP (Citizens on Patrol) crime watch golf cart. Barbara Magada and Conrad Weiser are still on the lookout for some residents to take a spin in the golf cart once in a while. Make your own hours and do some good for your community. Full training provided. No gun permit needed. (Just kidding). Give Barb or Conrad a call and they?’ll discuss details with you.

SMART MONEY
Here?’s a free offer from AARP. Call them at 800-233-0723 or go to their website www.aarp.org/financialcd and they will send you their new CD-ROM, 10 Steps to a Better Financial Future. The disc walks you through the basics of general financial planning including saving and investing. Although primarily aimed at the pre-retirement crowd, there is good info for all of us. Just the thing for these turbulent (and scary) times.

SUGGESTIONS WELCOME ?— Have some news from your club or group? Have an idea that you?’d like to express in this column? Want your chance to be heard? We are in Wisconsin for our summer vacation so call our cell phone at 727-804-5496 or email me at hopken@mindspring.com.


VAN ALTERNATIVES BUS AND TAXI SERVICE
By Jo Waldron
John Berlowe, PSTA Marketing Manager, gave an excellent presentation at the season?’s final Old Timers luncheon. Thanks again to Conrad Weiser for contacting him.

If you haven?’t already taken advantage of Rita Lewis?’ offer to accompany you on your first bus trip, here?’s another chance. For grocery shopping, Rita says that the Northeast Shopping Center is probably the closest to the bus stop, and you can take the grocery cart right to the bus stop. Gateway shopping center is more convenient but you do have to walk a little further. You might want to purchase one of those little folding pull carts to get the groceries to your home.

The price is right, at $1.50 senior rate you can ride all day. Just be sure to take your Medicare card and be prepared to show it each time you board the bus. Have the exact change ready and request a ?“Go?” card before you pay the fare. You can forget all these details if you have Rita along, she will guide you smoothly through the process. Give Rita a call at 527-0693.

An alternative that may be more appealing, if you find walking difficult is the DART program offered by the PSTA. I thought I might be able to finagle a group rate for our ladies that need transportation on a weekly basis. Unfortunately that is not an option. The DART information operator said that they do not do group pickups, it is done on an individual basis only. It is still less expensive than the regular taxi service. The drawback is, you must allow an hour before or after your requested pickup time. Same day service is not available, but you can call as late as 5 p.m. the day before.

The good news is the fare is only $2.50 each way or a 10-ride ticket can be purchased for $25. To qualify for the DART program, there is an extensive form to fill out which must be signed by your doctor. You will not be asked to disclose your financial status, that is not a criteria for this service. Call 530-9921 EXT. 4332 to request the forms, they are not available online. If you need help filling them out, give me a call.

Another idea that originated with Conrad is the taxi service. The details on this would have to be worked out but the price is right. For just $4 they will take you to one of the two closest grocery stores and the beauty of this is; up to four people can share a ride for the same price. There would have to be one pick-up site but the drop-off site can be a central location or your home, this is one of the details that need to be discussed. If this is something you would like to explore, let Paul Mattina or Dawn know so that they can look into it further.

In the meantime, if you have a neighbor that doesn?’t drive, offer to pick up some things for them, better yet, offer them a ride to the store or shopping. Many of us, including myself, do not know who is in need of transportation. I will post a sign-up sheet in the clubhouse, print your name, address and phone number, then hopefully, some kind neighbor will give you a call.

Remember that this is for routine shopping only. In the near future, Annette Solomon, Marcia Fay and I will look into transportation for unexpected medical appointments.


NOTICES
Forecaster Deadlines

All items and other information for the Forecaster may be placed in the box just inside the entry doors to the Atrium. All items to be in the original type, no photocopies please, in BLACK INK on full size 8 1/2 by 11 paper. Deadline for August for all articles, the 19th of July. Font size is number eleven.

Calendar ?— Deadline for entries will be the 17th of each month.

Monthly Bridge Lunch - It will be on July 17th. All Bridge players are welcome to come and enjoy some fellowship with their friends and neighbors.

Forecaster Submissions ?— It is my intention to commence the compilation of the Forecaster by electronic means. I have noted that practically all submissions I now receive are prepared on a computer, and I am assuming that most of you, if not all that use a computer, have email service.

I would therefore request that starting with the September issue (one month later than previously) you send me your submissions by email attachment, as well as placing a hard copy in the Forecaster box in the Atrium. This will enable me to find out where the problems are, and together we can work on resolving them. Please note the submission must be submitted exactly as it will appear in the Forecaster. Any extra notes should be on a separate piece of paper.

To those who do not have email access please continue to submit as you do presently. I have a scanner that can now convert the printed word into a computer file.

Presently a lot of paper is used in preparing the Forecaster and there does not seem to be any good reason for continuing to use paper unnecessarily.

A few of you presently submit your articles by electronic means and I appreciate your foresight.

I will publish the email address in the August issue. Incidentally if anyone is interested in becoming the Editor, the position is still available to the right person.

Please Note ?— Electronic submissions delayed one month until September.

MAA News ?— In July and August, on the second Wednesday of both months at noon, there will be a brown bag lunch and bingo at the Hall. Dessert, coffee and tea will be provided. We had a good time at the inaugural lunch in June, so why not come down and join the crowd. Hosted by Virginia Curtis and Vivian Linville.

Errata ?— John Layner wants us to know he had the birthday last month and not some character named John Laynet.

Thanks a million for all of the cards, hair care, prayers, flowers, car drivers, great food, surprise hard shell crabs, and just plain ole?’ good natured sympathy.
It is a blessing to know so many people care. We live in the very best spot in the world. Bless you all.
Dotte Farren


JULY 4th DINNER
Friday, July4th, at 5.00pm, chicken dinner from Church?’s.
3 chicken tenders
Baked Beans
Cole Slaw
Biscuit
$3.75 per person, tickets sold at Friday night bingos.


FRIENDS OF THE LIBRARY
By Nora Adell Andrews
(Billy, the Bookworm is the guest columnist for this month?’s issue) Hi Reading Fans, I?’m Billy Bookworm writing you about this fine library! Mary Krich was just saying it is a great library and ?“we are fortunate to have this in our park.?” I have seen Bill Krich often here. He seems to like all kinds of books and reads all the time. Bill likes westerns and war stories and the Max Boland books (Oh, another idea for me to try that author!)

Ruth Brown was reminiscing about the library being in a room all by itself. It was located where the golf bulletin boards are now! I am glad it is out in the open for all to see.

Bev Hamel was saying that her husband Bob reads mysteries mostly. Barb Strehl said you can tell that many people work at keeping the library organized. She admires the library set-up.

Bookworms have such an insatiable appetite for all these books that I cannot help but agree with Barb.

Have a happy Fourth of July! To celebrate I am going to find some Michael and Jeff Shaara books about our country. It will be good to recall some of our nation?’s past.
Keep reading,
Billy Bookworm


CRAFTERS CLUB
By Annette Solomon
Dear Crafters and Our Friends:

Hope everyone is enjoying a great summer! In Massachusetts, the warm weather finally arrived in time for the 4th of July celebration!

CRAFTERS CORNER UPDATE:
Thank you to all our great residents for supporting our Crafters Corner! We have held these sales before and after each weekly luncheon since January. We have proudly displayed and sold many of our handmade items. Funds from these sales will be put to good use. We are in the process of buying shelving and a floor cabinet for the sewing machines to be wheeled in and stored there. The shelving and cabinet will be installed in the library area this summer. Some of our many supplies will be kept there for our use during our classes on Monday 6-9:00 pm and Thursday 9-11:00 am. Wouldn?’t a large arts & crafts room be wonderful?!

Hope you have visited with Rosemary in the clubhouse on Monday evenings. She is busy creating items for the Craft Bazaar. Why not see if you can help her? (All proceeds from the Craft Bazaar go to MAA. All residents benefit all year long with luncheons and entertainment.)
See you there.


FUNNY AND TRUE
Submitted by Lucy Laberge

Money,
It can buy a house but not a home
It can buy a bed but not sleep
It can buy a clock but not time
It can buy a book but not knowledge
It can buy you a position but not respect
It can buy you medicine but not your health
It can buy you blood but not life
It can buy you sex but not love
So you see, money isn?’t everything, and it often causes pain and suffering. I tell you this because I am your friend, and as your friend I want to take away your pain and suffering.
So, send me all of your money and I will suffer for you.
CASH ONLY, PLEASE


THE RED HAT SOCIETY - FOR WOMEN ONLY
By Jenny Joseph
Submitted by Nette Novotka

Warnings
When I am an old woman I shall wear purple
With a red hat that doesn?’t go and doesn?’t suit me
And I shall spend my pension on brandy and summer gloves
And satin sandals, and say we have no money for butter
I shall sit down on the pavement when I am tired
And gobble up samples in shops and press alarm bells
And run my stick along public railings
And make up for the sobriety of my youth
I shall go out in my slippers in the rain
And pick the flowers in other peoples?’ gardens
But maybe I ought to practice a little now?
So people who know me are not too shocked and surprised
When suddenly I am old and start to wear purple.


TABS, TABS, AND MORE TABS
By Annette Solomon
Thank you so very much for saving those tabs. We, and mostly Paul Guzzi, have collected about 8000 tabs since the beginning of 2003 .The container is in the clubhouse on a table near the bulletin boards for your convenience. Please continue to save them.

RONALD McDONALD HOUSE
We are saving them for the Ronald McDonald House of Orlando, which is a ?“home-away-from-home for families of seriously ill children who are receiving treatment at local hospitals. The first House in Orlando opened December 1996. Nearly 4000 families from all over the United States and several foreign countries have used this ?“home?”.

POP TABS PRODUCE MORE THAN FIZZ
Just pop off those tabs from your soda cans, vegetable and soup cans, pet food cans, special diet food, etc. Save them in our containers. We will bring them to the collection points in Orlando. The tabs are then weighed for recycling and the monies raised go to help with the costs to operate the Ronald McDonald House.

WHY POP TABS AND NOT THE WHOLE CAN?
Pop tabs are high quality, pure aluminum and are more valuable than the can, which is a combination of aluminum and other alloys. Tabs are also easier to store and less messy than saving the whole can. Also recognize that other organizations use aluminum recycling as a way to raise money. All we want is the tab, so you can continue donating to more than one organization through your recycling

In 1962, Mr. Ermal Fraze in Kettering, Ohio invented the ring pull can.
To date, over 400 million pop tabs have been collected nation wide. I have obtained this information from the internet. I do not have an accurate amount our tabs will be worth. It will be a project that 1 will undertake in the fall when I deliver our tabs to the Orlando Ronald McDonald house. I will keep you informed. Please continue to save those tabs. Thank You.

P.S. More information from the Internet.
We?’ve recently seen a dramatic upswing in calls from people asking where they can exchange their aluminum pull tabs they?’ve been collecting, says NKF Chairman Joe Brand. There?’s no such thing as a tabs-for-dialysis program. It wouldn?’t ever be necessary because Medicare typically pays for 80 percent of the cost of dialysis time, regardless of the age of the patient. Private insurance and state programs usually pay the remaining 20%...


"A GOOD PUN IS ITS OWN REWORD"
Submitted by Ronald Gunderman
Energizer Bunny arrested ?— charged with battery.
A pessimist?’s blood type is always b?—negative.
Practice safe eating - always use condiments.
A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother.
Shotgun wedding: A case of wife or death.
I used to work in a blanket factory, but it folded.
If electricity comes from electrons.., does that mean that morality comes from morons?
Marriage is the mourning after the knot before.
A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
Corduroy pillows are making headlines.
Is a book on voyeurism a peeping tome?
Dancing cheek?—to?—cheek is really a form of floor play.
Banning the bra was a big flop.
Sea captains don?’t like crew cuts.
Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?
When you dream in color, it?’s a pigment of your imagination.
Reading whilst sunbathing makes you well ?—?— red.
When two egotists meet, it?’s an I for an I.
Alarms: What an octopus is.
Dockyard: A physician?’s garden.
Incongruous: Where bills are passed.
Khakis: What you need to start the car in Boston.
Oboe: An English tramp.
Pasteurize: Too far to see.
Propaganda: A gentlemanly goose. (Love it...)
Toboggan: Why we go to an auction.


SUBJECT: A POEM ON BEING "ELDERLY"
Submitted by Lucy Laberge

When an old lady died in the geriatric ward of a small hospital near Dundee, Scotland, it was felt that she had nothing left of any value.

Later, when the nurses were going through her meager possessions, they found this poem.

Its quality and content so impressed the staff that copies were made and distributed to every nurse in the hospital.

One nurse took her copy to Ireland.

The old lady?’s sole bequest to posterity has since appeared in the Christmas edition of the News Magazine of the North Ireland Association for Mental Health.

A slide presentation has also been made based on her simple, but eloquent, poem.

And this little old Scottish lady, with nothing left to give to the world, is now the author of this ?“anonymous?” poem winging across the Internet.

Goes to show that we all leave ?“SOME footprints in time?”

An old lady?’s poem
What do you see, nurses,
What do you see?
What are you thinking?
When you?’re looking at me?
What are you thinking when you?’re looking at me?
A crabby old woman, not very wise,
Uncertain of habit, with faraway eyes?
Who dribbles her food and makes no reply
When you say in a loud voice,
?“I do wish you?’d try!?”
Who seems not to notice the things that you do,
And forever is losing a stocking or shoe
Who, resisting or not, lets you do as you will,
With bathing and feeding, the long day to fill....
Is that what you?’re thinking?
Is that what you see?
Then open your eyes, nurse;
You?’re not looking at me.
I?’ll tell you who I am as I sit here so still,
As I do at your bidding, as I eat at your will.
I?’m a small child of ten
With a father and mother,
Brothers and sisters,
Who love one another.
A young girl of sixteen, with wings on her feet,
Dreaming that soon now
A lover she?’ll meet.
A bride soon at twenty --my heart gives a leap,
Remembering the vows that I promised to keep.
At twenty-five now,
I have young of my own,
Who need me to guide
And a secure happy home.
A woman of thirty,
My young now grown fast,
Bound to each other
With ties that should last.
At forty, my young sons have grown and are gone,
But my man?’s beside me to see I don?’t mourn.
At fifty once more,
Babies play round my knee,
Again we know children,
My loved one and me.
Dark days are upon me,
My husband is dead;
I look at the future,
I shudder with dread.
For my young are all rearing
Young of their own,
And I think of the years
And the love that I?’ve known.
I?’m now an old woman
And nature is cruel;
Tis jest to make
Old age look like a fool.
The body, it crumbles,
Grace and vigor depart,
There is now a stone
Where I once had a heart.
But inside this old carcass
A young girl still dwells,
And now and again
My battered heart swells.
I remember the joys,
I remember the pain,
And I?’m loving and living
Life over again.
I think of the years
All too few, gone too fast,
And accept the stark fact
That nothing can last.
So open your eyes,
People, open and see,
Not a crabby old woman;
Look closer ...see me!!
Remember this poem when you next meet an old person who you might brush aside without looking at the young soul within...

We will one day be there, too!


RULES-
We always hear ?“the rules?” from the female side. Now, here are THE rules from the male side. These are OUR rules! Please note: These are all numbered ?“1?” ON PURPOSE.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You?’re a big girl. If it?’s up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don?’t hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

1. ?“Yes?” and ?‘No?” are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

1. If you won?’t dress like Victoria?’s Secret girls, don?’t expect us to act like Soap Opera guys.

1. If you think you?’re fat, you probably are. Don?’t ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know the best way to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows on a computer. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say ?“nothing?”, we will act like nothing is wrong.

We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don?’t want an answer to, expect an answer you don?’t want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.

1. Don?’t ask us what we?’re thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have enough shoes.

1. I am in shape. ROUND is a shape.

1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, sometimes men have to sleep on the couch, but did you know men really don?’t mind? It?’s like camping.


PAPAYA PLANTS (aka PAPAW)
By Joseph Gerhard
A recent windshield survey up and down the streets of this community revealed a dearth of the tropical and semi-tropical papaya plant. The largest orchard, nine plants, belongs to moi, as raised from seed. The information in this article is derived from my own experiences and from Internet sources.

There are several varieties, mainly Mexican and Hawaiian. Some plants are female, some male and some, called Solo, are bisexual and do it all on their own. The fruits can start forming as early as nine months, and are oval shaped and green until they ripen with a yellowish skin and are soft to the touch.

Size varies with the variety of the plant. The interior of the fruit is yellowish or red. The texture is similar to cantaloupe but the taste is tarter. Some weigh a pound; others can weigh up to 20 pounds.

The seeds are many and are clumped in the middle and look to me like fish roe. Those seeds can be made into a salsa or salad dressing. Green fruits can be sliced and boiled for eating. An ingredient of the large green leaves is papain, a meat tenderizer.

Papayas grow at an amazing rate. At 18 months a plant can reach 20 feet. The cold snap we had earlier this year killed several plants, and all dropped their leaves. Most of mine survived and grew new leaves and fruits are forming.

In local markets a small ripe papaya is $1.99; a larger fruit is $3.99. I?’m ending this now because space for articles is limited. Many other fascinating facts about papaya plants can be found easily by searching the internet. Keyword ?“papaya?”.


USELESS FACTS

Submitted by Gerri Bassett
Today?’s useless fact. Why do we give names to hurricanes?

The world is a big place and at any time there can be more than one storm brewing. Obviously it is important that the folks reporting storms from around the world have accurate data.

In order to reduce the chance of confusing one storm with another, meteorologists decided to give each storm its own name. Before long they were referred to by their latitude and longitude positions, which were constantly changing. Names are easier to remember and less boring than simply assigning numbers.

Since hurricanes were first reported via radio, during World War II, the names they were given were from the phonetic alphabet ?— Alpha, Baker, Charlie, etc. Later, in 1953, hurricanes began being named after women, much to the chagrin of the feminists. In 1979, the World Meteorological Association began using both women?’s and men?’s names, so as not to slight either gender. Hurricane names are now assigned alphabetically at the beginning of the year, alternating between male and female names.

Every five or six years the names are recycled and used again. However, a storm of great notoriety, such as Andrew, which ravaged southern Florida in 1992, has had its name retired. Andrew was previously used in 1986, for a tropical depression that left 300,000 homeless in Jamaica and Haiti. Source ?— Thoughts for the Throne, by Don Voorhees.