Cactus Village Community

TALKING with CHILDREN About WAR

Jul 10, 2003

David Walsh, PhD., President
National Institute on Media and the Family

Background

War and threats of terrorist attacks arouse strong emotions in all of us, especially children who may not understand what is happening and who are powerless to influence events. Media coverage brings images of conflict, tragedy and suffering right into our living rooms. All of us, including our children, will be dealing with fear, anxiety, grief, sadness, anger and other strong emotions. Economic uncertainty, fears of the unpredictable, and honest disagreements among fellow citizens compound the emotional stress. Therefore, it is important to develop long-term strategies to help us and our children cope.

Things to Expect ?“Maintaining Normal?”

?• The advice to ?‘maintain normal?’ is sound. However, we need to realize that our ?‘normal?’ during these perilous times has been redefined. We should expect an undercurrent of anxiety, which will ebb and flow as events unfold.
?• Everyone processes strong emotions differently depending on temperament and individual circumstances.

Intense Emotions

?• Expect intense emotional reactions ranging from sadness to fear to anger. These reactions may be unpredictable, coming / going without warning.
?• There will be a greater risk for depression. Warning signs include ongoing sleep problems, feelings of hopelessness and guilt, and extreme sadness.
?• Intense anger may make us want to strike out and look for someone or some group to blame.
?• The ongoing tension can make us grumpy or edgy with others, leading us to ?‘take thing out?’ on the people closest to us.
?• Feelings of sadness and fear may inhibit people from finding enjoyment.

Stress and Anxiety
?• People feel more anxious when it seems like things are out of control. This is particularly true for children.
?• Uncertainty accentuates anxiety.
?• Heightened anxiety can lead to difficulty sleeping, paying attention, and remembering.
?• Prolonged stress suppresses the immune system, leading to greater susceptibility to illness.
?• Many people eat more when under stress.

Coping Strategies for All Ages,
Children through Adult

Relationships

?• Talk to people about what you are feeling.
?• Stay connected with family, friends, neighbors, co-workers, etc., to avoid feeling isolated.
?• There are many honest disagreements about politics and strategies. Deal with disagreements without being disagreeable. Avoid personal attacks against people with a different point of view.
?• Reflect according to your religious or spiritual beliefs. Spiritual rituals and discussions can be very important activities to do as a family and as a community.

Education

?• Learn about the issues involved in the war. Don?’t rely on electronic media for all your information. Print media provide more in-depth coverage. Seek out information from different points of view.
?• Monitor your sources of information. For example, pay attention to media that help you understand what is happening and avoid media that simply exploit your emotions.

Health

?• Watch your diet. Many people overeat when they are under stress, which can lead to further feelings of guilt, sadness and hopelessness.
?• Get regular exercise to help relieve stress and take your mind off the tragedy.

Activity

?• Maintain a daily routine as much as possible.
?• Find something constructive and/ or fun to do. . .☺