PCC Geography: Mr. Lee

Geo Funnies....Not!

Sep 21, 2003

The following are actual stories provided by a
retiring Washington, D.C. travel agent of 30+ years:

A New Hampshire Congresswoman ask for an aisle seat on the airplane so that her hair wouldn't get messed up by being near the window.

A Candidate's Staffer, who wanted to go to Capetown. I started to explain the length of the flight and the passport information then she interrupted me with, "I'm not trying to make you look stupid, but Capetown is in Massachusetts." Without trying to make her look like the stupid one, I calmly explained, "Cape Cod is in Massachusetts, Capetown is in Africa." Her response ...(click).

A Senior Vermont Congressman called, furious about a Florida package we did. I asked what was wrong with the vacation in Orlando. He said he was expecting an ocean-view room. I tried to explain that is not possible, since Orlando is in the middle of the state. He replied, "Don't lie to me. I looked on the map, and Florida is a very thin state!!!"

Lawmakers Wife asked, "Is it possible to see England from Canada?" I said, "No." She said, "But they look so close on the map."

An Aide for a Bush cabinet member once called and
asked if they could rent a car in Dallas. When I
pulled up the reservation, I noticed they had only a
one-hour lay-over in Dallas. When I asked him why he wanted to rent a car, he said, "I heard Dallas was a big airport, and we will need a car to drive between the gates to save time."

An Illinois Congresswoman called last week. She needed to know how it was possible that her flight from Detroit left at 8:20am and got into Chicago at 8:33am. I tried to explain that Michigan was an hour ahead of Illinois, but she could not understand the concept of time zones. Finally, I told her the plane went very fast, and she bought that!

A New York lawmaker called and asked, "Do airlines put your physical description on your bag so they know who's luggage belongs to who?" I said, "No, why do you ask?" She replied, "Well, when I checked in with the airline, they put a tag on my luggage that said (FAT), and I'm overweight, I think that is very rude?" After putting her on hold for a minute while I "looked into it" (I was actually laughing) I came back and explained the city code for Fresno, CA is (FAT), and that the airline was just putting a destination tag on her luggage.

A Senator's Aide called in inquiring about a trip
package to Hawaii. After going over all the cost info,
she asked, "Would it be cheaper to fly to California
and then take the train to Hawaii?"

I just got off the phone with a freshman congressman who asked, "How do I know which plane to get on?" I asked him what exactly he meant, to which he replied, "I was told my flight number is 823, but none of these darn planes have numbers on them."

A Lady Senator called and said, "I need to fly to
Pepsi-Cola, FL. Do I have to get on one of those
little computer planes?" I asked if she meant fly to
Pensacola, FL on a commuter plane. She said, "Yeah, whatever!!"

A Senior Senator called and had a question about the documents he needed in order to fly to China. After a lengthy discussion about passports, I reminded him he needed a visa. "Oh no I don't, I've been to China many times and never had to have one of those." I double checked and sure enough, his stay required a visa. When I told him this he said, "Look, I've been to China four times and every time they have accepted my American Express!"

A New Mexico Congresswoman called to make
reservations, "I want to go from Chicago to Rhino, New York" The agent was at a loss for words. Finally, the agent: "Are you sure that's the name of the town?" "Yes, what flights do you have?" replied the lady. After some searching, the agent came back with, "I'm sorry, ma'am, I've looked up every airport code in the country and can't find a Rhino anywhere." The lady retorted, "Oh don't be silly! Everyone knows where it is. Check your map!" The agent scoured a map of the state of New York and finally offered, "You don't mean Buffalo, do you?" "That's it! I knew it was a big animal", she admitted!!!

Now you know why government and the country is in the shape that it's in!

While some of these incidents may be humorous, there are some historical cases of geographic errors and lapses that are less humorous.

World War II, The Aluetian Campaign: The first combat between US forces on American soil and the first major amphibious landings by US troops took place in Alaska. The US Army troops sent into battle were trained at Ft. Irwin, CA (a desert warfare school). Worse yet, when they arrived in Alaska, they still had only uniforms and equipment unsuitable for the Alaskan climate and conditions. During the war in Alaska, the US suffered more casualties and deaths from the weather and climate than to combat with the Japanese.

World War II, The Doolittle Raid on Japan: The US military staff in charge of planning the mission forgot to account for crossing the International Date Line when notifying the Chinese when to expect the arrival of the American bombers. Due to the error, the Chinese expected the aircraft 1 day BEFORE the attack took place. As a result, the American flyers were crash landing in the dark. In the subsequent search for the Americans, the Japanese (who occupied most of coastal China), killed about 250,000 Chinese. Other Chinese smuggled most of the American flyers inland to Chongqing (then called Chunking). From there, the Americans made it back to the US. (Footnote: In contrast, the Imperial Japanese Navy staff did accurately account for their crossing of the International Date Line in their plan to attack Pearl Harbor.)

Korean War: At the outbreak of the Korean War, all the members President Truman's of expert committee on Asia had to be provided with maps to show them where Korea was located.

Remember: Geography; you'd be lost without it!

Remember further, the errors you commit now, in class, may seem minor and trivial. Learn from them so you can avoid "minor" errors later that could result in major human tragedy.