St Pats Parade March 6th and a bit of humor to get us ready

Posted in: NAP- Neighborhood Alliance of Pawtucket
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You have to Love the Irish
 

Paddy was driving down the street in a sweat because he had an important meeting and couldn't find a parking place.   Looking up to heaven he said, 'Lord take pity on me.   If you find me a parking place I will go to Mass every Sunday for the rest of me life and give up me Irish Whiskey!' 

Miraculously, a parking place appeared.

Paddy looked up again and said, 'Never mind, I found one.'

 

ababab

Father Murphy walks into a pub in Donegal, and asks the first man he meets, 'Do you want to go to heaven?' 

The man said, 'I do, Father.'

The priest said, 'Then stand over there against the wall.'

Then the priest asked the second man, 'Do you want to go to heaven?'

'Certainly, Father,' the man replied. 

'Then stand over there against the wall,' said the priest.

Then Father Murphy walked up to O'Toole and asked, 'Do you want to go to heaven?'

O'Toole said, 'No, I don't Father.' 

The priest said, 'I don't believe this.   You mean to tell me that when you die you don't want to go to heaven?'

O'Toole said, 'Oh, when I die, yes.   I thought you were getting a group together to go right now.'

 

ababab  

Paddy was in  New York

He was patiently waiting and watching the traffic cop on a busy street crossing.   The cop stopped the flow of traffic and shouted, 'Okay, pedestrians.'   Then he'd allow the traffic to pass.

He'd done this several times, and Paddy still stood on the sidewalk.

After the cop ha d shouted, 'Pedestrians!' for the tenth time, Paddy went over to him and said, 'Is it not about time ye let the Catholics across?'

 

ababab  

Gallagher opened the morning newspaper and was dumbfounded to read in the obituary column 20 that he had died.   He quickly phoned his best friend, Finney. 

'Did you see the paper?' asked Gallagher. 'They say I died!!'

'Yes, I saw it!' replied Finney.   'Where are ye callin' from?'

 

ababab  

An Irish priest is driving down to  New York  and gets stopped for speeding in Connecticut . The state trooper smells alcohol on the priest's breath and then sees an empty wine bottle on the floor of the car. 

He says, 'Sir, have you been drinking?'

'Just water,' says the priest.

The trooper says, 'Then why do I smell wine?'

The priest looks at the bottle and says, 'Good Lord! He's done it again!'

 

ababab  

Walking into the bar, Mike said to Charlie the bartender, 'Pour me a stiff one - just had another fight with the little woman.' 

'Oh yeah?' said Charlie, 'And how did this one end?'

'When it was over,' Mike replied, 'She came to me on her hands and knees.'

'Really,' said Charles, 'Now that's a switch!   What did she say?' 

She said, 'Come out from under the bed, you little chicken.'

 

ababab  

Patton staggered home very late after another evening with his drinking buddy, Paddy.   He took off his shoes to avoid waking his wife, Kathleen. 

He tiptoed as quietly as he could toward the stairs leading to their upstairs bedroom, but misjudged the bottom step.   As he caught himself by grabbing the banister, his body swung around and he landed heavily on his rump.   A whiskey bottle in each back pocket broke and made the landing especially painful. 

Managing not to yell, Patton sprung up, pulled down his pants, and looked in the hall mirror to see that his butt cheeks were cut and bleeding.   He managed to quietly find a full box of Band-Aids and began putting a Band-Aid as best he could on each place he saw blood.

He then hid the now almost empty Band-Aid box and shuffled and stumbled his way to bed. 

In the morning, Patton woke up with searing pain in both his head and butt and Kathleen staring at him from across the room. 

She said, 'You were drunk again last night weren't you?'

Patton said, 'Why you say such a mean thing?'

'Well,' Kathleen said, 'it could be the open front door, it could be the broken glass at the bottom of the stairs, it could be the drops of blood trailing through the house, it could be your bloodshot eyes, but mostly ..... it's all those Band-Aids stuck on the hall mirror.

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Plenty to do for St. Patrick's Day E-mail

on 02-17-2010 02:00  

 

By DONNA KENNY KIRWAN

PAWTUCKET—St. Patrick's Day always comes early in Pawtucket, and this year is no exception, as a series of fun events leads up to the city's March 6 parade.

Karen Brunelle, publicity chairman for the Pawtucket St. Patrick's Day Parade Committee has announced that the “Faces of Ireland” Contest and Raffle will be held on Sunday, Feb. 21, at 1 p.m. at The Celtic Pub, 755 Broadway, Pawtucket.
The popular event will feature live Irish music, refreshments and a table raffle with liquor baskets, gift certificates and more. Participants are encouraged to join in the fun and vote for their favorite male and female “Face of Ireland” at 4:30 p.m. The winners will be featured guests in the St. Patrick's Day Parade.
In addition, a Grand Marshal's Reception for Bob Mulhearn, who was chosen to lead this year's parade, will be held on Thursday, March 4, from 5:30 – 7:30 p.m., at the Pawtucket Country Club, 900 Armistice Blvd., Pawtucket. Tickets are $20 per person or $35 per couple and are available through the Pawtucket St. Patrick's Day Parade Committee or at the door. There will be hors d'oeuvres and a cash bar.
Mulhearn is the former owner of Mulhearn's Pub in East Providence and currently owns Bristol Fire Protection. He and his wife have run numerous raffles and fundraisers over the years to benefit the parade, Brunelle said.
Brunelle said that this year's parade will be bigger and better than ever thanks to an increase in money raised from several fundraising efforts. In particular, she said, the parade committee credits Galway Bay owners Sean Tevlin and Mike Naughton with holding two raffles, one offering a trip to Ireland and the other a trip that included a free stay at an Irish cottage, that raised a significant amount of cash for the parade fund.
The parade itself, an annual event since 1982, will begin on Saturday, March 6 at noon, stepping off from Jenks Junior High School.
After the event wraps up in front of Pawtucket City Hall on Roosevelt Avenue, a Post-Parade Party will be held at the Pawtucket Armory, 172 Exchange St., at 1 p.m.
There will be food, drink, and live Irish music featuring Tom Lanigan, The Granitemen, and the Rhode Island Firefighters Pipe & Drum Band. Admission is $2 and children under 12 are free with an adult.
On St. Patrick's Day, Wed., March 17, an Irish Flag Raising Ceremony will be held at Pawtucket City Hall at noon. There will be live Irish music and refreshments.
For further information on any event or to purchase tickets, call Donna at                401-651-6670        

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Ready to step out ?

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Check out the details at this link

Will be a fun weekend for many...Stay safe and drink good green beer.

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