The Halloween pumpkin on your front porch has more teeth than your spouse.
You let your twelve-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids.
You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.
Anyone in your family ever died right after saying, ''Hey, watch this!''
You've got more than one brother named, ''Darryl.''
Your Junior/Senior Prom had a day care.
You think the last words to The Star Spangled Banner are, ''Gentlemen, start your engines.''
You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off its wheels.
You have flowers planted in a bathroom fixture in your front yard.
Ya can't get married to yer sweetheart 'cause there's a law against it.
You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.
Your toilet paper has page numbers on it.
