Muscatine

Dear Abby,

My husband is a liar and a cheat. He has cheated on me from the
beginning, and, when I confront him, he denies everything. What's
worse, everyone knows that he cheats on me. It is so humiliating.

Also, since he lost his job six years ago, he hasn't even looked for

a new one. All he does all day is smoke cigars,cruise around and
shoot the bull with his buddies, while I have to work to pay the
bills.

Since our daughter went away to college he doesn't even pretend to
like me,and even hints that I may be a lesbian.

What should I do?
Signed: Clueless

Dear Clueless:

Grow up and dump him. Good grief woman! You don't need him anymore!
You're a Senator from New York
running for President of
the United States. Act like one.

You forgot to add

ensure that you keep taking your briefings and advice for keeping our troops in Iraq and Afghanistan from W as you've been known to have done.

Not bad but....

....tell us the one again about how you're an attorney and can prove it. Please.