Muscatine

How do you have sex with a bicycle?
Posted by Bryony Gordon on 26 Oct 2007 at 16:05
Tags: Sex, bicycle, Robert Stewart, Karl Watkins
That got your attention. But I really want to know. Because there's a story in today's paper about a man who has been placed on the sex offenders' register for doing just that. Apparently, Robert Stewart (for that is his name) isn't the first person to be arrested for making love to an inanimate object. In 1993 Karl Watkins was locked up for having sex with pavements in Redditch.


Now I know that men will have sex with almost anything, but a bicycle? Here at the Telegraph offices, we have spent much of the afternoon trying to work out the ins and outs of this, so to speak.

'Wouldn't it hurt?' was the response of most of my male colleagues. But then we thought, well, if he wants to have sex with his bike so be it; may not be everybody's idea of a perfect sexual partner, but you know, horses for courses and all that.

He was in his hostel room at the time, behind locked doors (staff went in when they got no response from him). It was between him and the bicycle. I'm not sure I would have called the police had I caught him riding his bike; probably I would have just screamed and run away and then think that maybe he was just confused by somebody who had told him that the local bike would sleep with anyone.

Anyway, I'll leave you to ponder this story. Happy weekends all.

Nedl

This doesn't make any sense at all.

Maybe-

this might help. It was in a U.K. newspaper.

Robert Stewart was discovered in his room by two cleaners at the Aberley House Hostel in Ayr, south west Scotland, in October last year.
On Wednesday Mr Stewart admitted to sexual breach of the peace in Ayr Sheriff Court, where depute fiscal Gail Davidson described how he had been found by the hostel workers.
She said: ''They knocked on the door several times and there was no reply.
''They used a master key to unlock the door and they then observed the accused wearing only a white T-shirt, naked from the waist down.
''The accused was holding the bike and moving his hips back and forth as if to simulate sex.''
Both witnesses, who were extremely shocked, notified the hotel manager, who in turn alerted the police.
Mr Stewart was placed on the sex offenders register but his sentence was deferred until next month.
He is not the first man to be convicted of a sexual offence involving an inanimate object, however.
Karl Watkins, an electrician, was jailed for having sex with pavements in Redditch, Worcs, in 1993.