Muscatine

RUGGY & AUSSIE HAD SOME GOOD REPLIES TO MY POST ON 11/09! They made me laugh.
'' I Sigh! & GRIN, as I state the obvious: a man would have never, ever had the STRENGTH or wisdom to respond as this lovely lady did! Eat your hearts out men! LOL!
*************************************** LADIES' NIGHT OUT
The other day, my friends and I went to a ladies' night club.
One of the girls wanted to impress the rest of us, so she pulled out a $10 bill.

When the male dancer came over to us, my friend licked the $10 bill and stuck it to his butt cheek!

Not to be outdone, another friend pulled out a $20 bill. She called the guy back over, licked the $20 bill, and stuck it to his other butt
cheek.

In another attempt to impress the rest of us, my third friend pulled out a $50 bill and called the guy over. I was worried about the way things were going, but she licked the bill and just stuck it to one of his butt cheeks again.

My relief was short lived. Seeing the way things were going, the guy gyrated
over to me! Now everyone's attention was focused on me, and the guy was
egging me on to try and top the $50. My brain was churning as I reached for
my wallet. What could I do? I got out my ATM card, swiped it down the
crack of his ass, grabbed the 80 bucks and went home.

THIS WOMAN IS MY HERO! Not an exception, guys, ROTFL! Our kids say it on the playground! Girls Rule, Guys Drool!

Yeah, you gals -

win that one. I was the male dancer. I chased her out into the street after MY $80. Then I got arrested for indecent exposure and had to sit in a holding cell dressed in nothing but a lime green thong and surrounded by a bunch of biker types covered with tatoos.

Don't ever try and use that ATM

card in my store. I don't want that brown stuff gumming up my credit card machine. Ha Ha

A Poem For Moms

A Poem For Moms And Dads
Now I lay me down to sleep,
I pray my sanity to keep.
For if some peace I do not find,
I'm pretty sure I'll lose my mind.

I pray I find a little quiet
Far from the daily family riot
May I lie back--not have to think
about what they're stuffing down the sink,
or who they're with, or where they're at
and what they're doing to the cat.

I pray for time all to myself
(did something just fall off a shelf?)
To cuddle in my nice, soft bed
(Oh no, another goldfish--dead!)

Some silent moments for goodness sake
(Did I just hear a window break?)
And that I need not cook or clean--
(well heck, I've got the right to dream)

Yes now I lay me down to sleep,
I pray my wits about me keep,
But as I look around I know--
I must have lost them long ago!