Muscatine

Some of the many reasons I was fired from working at Jeff's toy store...

A little too much joie de vivre while demonstrating the erector set, if you know what I mean.

Every time you're passed over for a promotion, you stick your head in an Easy Bake Oven and threaten to ''end it all.''

You got caught adding a garage to your house using embezzled Lego bricks.

Numerous parental complaints about your ''Tickle Me Carl The Stockboy'' display.

You went overboard with your GI Joe Militia display by adding the Tonka truck full of fertilizer.

Cross-dressing the Ken and Barbie dolls and telling kids they're the new ''Jerry Springer'' edition.

The ''My Little Taxidermy Kit'' (with starter squirrel) is not selling.

Impromptu demonstrations of why Malibu Ken is not anatomically correct.

Got caught doing your Dolly Parton impression with basketballs again.

Source of reefer smoke finally traced to ''nostrils'' of Geoffrey the Giraffe.

Jaws of life needed to pull your knees out of your chest after you jackknifed a Big Wheel.

Caught hocking phlegm into tykes' hands and telling them it was ''homemade Gack.''

Your sales display, ''Barbie's Struggle for Survival in Post-Nuclear Holocaust Malibu'' was not exactly an overwhelming success.

Too many reports from people who swear they saw Geoffrey the Giraffe in a leather bar.

Regardless of the question, you answer, ''Bite me, kid -- I'm on break.''

LMFAO!!!

Jeez Ruggy, tell them the real reason I fired you. It was because of the sexual harrasment suits filed by the female puppets he kept ''feeling up!'' Great one Ruggy.

Ruggy

Funniest NL Post...EVER :)

Ruggy gets an A++++

ROTFL & LMAO describes your post! OMG! I'm not sure if I'm more concerned that an actual member of this board could think up these things, OR that ''I found it so dog-gone funny''!!!
My favorite was...OH MY, I have NO FAVORITE, they were all diabolical!
Poor Jeff, Poor Jeff! LOL! He's gonna have to wonder if every customer that comes through his door is thinking about the ''alternative lifestyles'' his toys could be offering AND if the consumer should actually be ALLOWED the chance to leave his safe store! Should he put a warning label on his toys?
Jeff, you need to have your customers sign this agreement:
''If your child starts exhibiting Jerry Springer type attitudes'' after receiving Ken & Barbie dolls, or IF ''Geoffrey the Giraffe is found in a leather bar''; I absolve Jeff & ''said store'', from any actions & liabilities my child might start exhibitng, whatsoever! I purchased these toys willfully. If my child/children turn out totally and utterly screwed up, it's my fault, not Jeff's!
We live in a crazy & litigious world, Jeff. LOL & ROTFL!
This post was fun & just what the Dr. ordered!