Muscatine

Ruggy's Grandson

Posted in: Muscatine
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Hey everyone, I got to meet Ruggy?’s little grandson the other day. His name is Ruggy-rat. We were talking and I asked him if he knew any Christmas carols to sing. And he shared this one with me. (He sung it to the tune of ?“I saw mommy kissing Santa Claus.?”)

I saw mommy screwing Santa Claus
Underneath the mistletoe last night.
They both were na-aked,
But I think she fa-aked it.
Cause she was reading a book
While his belly shook.

Oh I saw mommy screwing Santa Claus,
Wasn?’t that a new experience for me!
I never would have known,
How big that thing had grown,
I thought I only used it to pee.

Oh, I saw mommy screwing Santa Claus
Then he took and whispered in her ear,
?“I want to thank you much my dear,
Please pass me another beer.
You know you make love better than my reindeer.?”

Cute kid Ruggy.
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Carols

CAROLS FOR THE PSYCHIATRICALLY CHALLENGED
**Contributed to Swenny's E-Mail Funnies by Jessica Gonzalez, Kettering, OH**

SCHIZOPHRENIA:
Do you Hear What I Hear?

MULTIPLE PERSONALITY DISORDER:
We Three Queens Disoriented Are.

DEMENTIA:
I Think I'll Be Home for Christmas.

NARCISSISTIC:
Hark the Herald Angels Sing About Me.

MANIC:
Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets and Stores and Office and Town and Cars and Busses and Trucks and Trees and Fire Hydrants and...

PARANOID:
Santa Claus is Coming to Get Me.

PERSONALITY DISORDER:
You Better Watch Out, I'm Gonna Cry, I'm Gonna Pout, Maybe I'll tell you Why.

DEPRESSION:
Silent Anedonia, Holy Anhedonia, All is Flat, All is Lonely.

OBSESSIVE-COMPULSIVE DISORDER:
Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle
Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle
Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle
Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell
Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell,
Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, .......(better
start again)

PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVE PERSONALITY:
On the First Day of Christmas My True Love Gave to Me (and then took it all away).

BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER:
Thoughts of Roasting on an Open Fire.


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I'm on a roll-


Dirty Christmas

1. Hey Babe, when was the last time you did it in a sleigh?
2. Wanna see my 12-inch elf?

3. I`ve got something special in the sack for you!

4. Ever make it with a fat guy with a whip?

5. I know when you've been bad or good ... so let's skip the small talk, sister!

6. Some of my best toys run on batteries.

7. Interested in seeing the ''North Pole''? (Well, that's what the Mrs. calls it)

8. I see you when you're sleeping ... and you don't wear any underwear, do you?

9. Screw the ''nice'' list -- I've got you on my ''naughty'' list!

10. Wanna join the ''Mile High'' club?




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