Muscatine

In an earthshaking incident that the white house is desperately trying to keep under wraps, a boozy President George W. Bush collapsed and was discovered dazed on the floor following a long night of drinking, reveals a source.

The 61-year old commander-in-chief was reportedly found by an aide, who frantically called for medical personnel, thinking the nation's leader had suffered a life threatening seizure.

But the emergency - which could have globe-shattering implications if it became public - turned out to be a brief boozy blackout, says the source.

First lady Laura is fed up with the drinking and secretly planned to divorce him - until mother Barbara intervened.


Peace

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With all the hoopla over Monicagate, why is the mainstream media ignoring this piece of news from ex-CIA agent, Wayne Madsen?

''A Mayflower Hotel staffer has confirmed that First Lady Laura Bush spent at least one night this past week at the hotel, which is four blocks north of the White House. Mrs. Bush reportedly moved out of the White House after a confrontation with President Bush over his on-going affair with Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice.''


...A White House source, speaking on background, vehemently denied to WMR that there are marital problems between President Bush and First Lady Laura Bush over a reported extramarital affair between Mr. Bush and Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice. However, two mainstream media sources have confirmed that their sources also have reported an ongoing affair between Mr. Bush and Rice. ''


NTW

SO WHAT?

Bush ain't running and your ''sources'' stink.

WAY TO GO-

''Belittle'' someone based on unproven rumors.