Muscatine

President Obama recently said businesses have been LAZY when it comes to promoting themselves overseas.

It turns out Mr. Obama is not only willing to comment on the ways in which Americans can be slackers – he also recently said we have “lost our ambition, our imagination” – but he’s willing to share ideas about how to improve everyone’s effectiveness.

The White House recently leaked to me Obama’s top ten time management recommendations. They asked me to tell you, so that you can get more done during the day even if you’re being your usual lazy self.

Here they are, straight from the president himself.

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1. Cling to your bibles with only one hand so that you can do something with the other.

2. Buy my books on CD so you can listen them while driving instead of having to put aside time to read them.

3. When you donate to me, do it in one large amount so you don’t have to keep writing separate checks.

4. TiVo the GOP debates so you can fast forward through the pauses.

5. When eating lobster, don’t bother with the legs. It’s too much effort for the amount of meat you can take out of it. Also, have the waitress crack the claws while you are eating the tail.

6. Never accept an invitation to the Kerry’s when vacationing on the Vineyard. He just goes on and on and on.

7. Don’t try to visit all 57 states – it takes too long and frankly there are seven I that I can’t even locate.

8. When meeting Saudi leaders, bow or shake hands, but not both.

9. If you can, always motorcade to the golf course. It’s much quicker than driving yourself.

10. If Netanyahu is bothering you and taking up your time, complain to Sarkozy about it and see what he can do to help.