Muscatine

But that hat was not bigger than the one her sister had when that house fell on her.....

I didn't think my sister even wore a hat.   And I'm sure she didn't have one when the house fell on her.   My Mother didn't either.  She preferred a bonnet.   Now, my older brother was fond of hats.   Actually a fishermans cap.   He had his on when the plane crashed.   The younger one had his blown off in the tornado but found it six days later.   My Father wore his usual straw hat most of the time.   Even when he slept.   The dog refused to where anything.

BS, you have a peculiar imagination.

Toto never wore a hat......even though it was "where" he wanted.......
so; you have an even more peculiar imagination, mallcontent! At any rate...this makes you the wicked witch of the witchever...."where" "as wear"??????? 

Here is one from 2009, by an author now dead, that I challange mobman to read all the way through:

http://www.vanityfair.com/politics/features/2009/02/hitchens200902