Muscatine

Why do people have this desire to delay going to Heaven? I have a theory: Those of you who eat “right” and exercise often, and live to be 100 will be met at the Gates of Heaven by Saint Peter. He will ask, “What took you so long?” On the other hand, we normal people, who enjoy life and all the goodies, will be met by Jesus Himself, who will ask, “Wasn’t butter the greatest? How about bacon? Did you love pizza?” (We’ll shake our heads yes, because we’re just too psyched to speak.) Jesus will continue, “I put all that delicious stuff on Earth for you! Guess what? We have plenty more where that came from! Let’s go to the buffet!” You heath nuts will be treated to wheatgrass and bottled water, while we and “The Christ” are eating grinders and playing Beer Pong. It’s just a theory.

Compared to others' around here; not so crazy!