President Obama’s second term is only a month old, and already the absurdities are piling up. In fact, it’s making me dizzy. Hold the phone while I swallow a Dramadine.

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Okay, that’s better. Oh wait a second, I took a Xanax. Oh, that’s okay, I need one of those too.

Now, on to the absurdities. All White Houses have absurdities. Some more than others. Like this one. Covering the Obama White House is like heading into Area 51 every day for flying saucer flying lessons.

1. President Obama blames Republicans for the sequester when IT WAS HIS IDEA.

OMG, I don’t even know what to say about this one. It’s like Germany blaming Poland for starting World War II. You of course have to go to the conservative press to be reminded of that Obama invented the sequester, even though the greatest living member of the MSM, Bob Woodward, reported it.

2. Obama and his campaign wail about tax shelters – like the one in the Cayman Islands – and grumble about Wall Street fat cats and their bonuses, and then the president nominates for Treasury Secretary Jack Lew, who took a $1 million bonus from Citigroup and stashed some of his money in . . . the Cayman Islands.

3. Obama wails about “at some point, you’ve made enough money” and demonizes the One Percent and says he’s all about the middle class and THEN TAKES TWO LUXURY VACATIONS IN LESS THAN TWO MONTHS.

While his wife takes a separate one.

But they can still feel our pain, even from the clubhouse or the spa.

4.  Obama’s new Secretary of State, John Kerry, says the greatest challenge to U.S. foreign policy is not emerging China or Middle East instability – it’s Congress, according to the Associated Press.

So House Republicans and their intransigence with respect to the sequester are a bigger threat than the Chinese?

Also right up there with China and Mahmoud Ahmadinejad? Global warming, according to Kerry.

Because global warming is developing a nuclear weapon too.

5. Obama rewarded his departing chief trade negotiator, Ron Kirk, by taking him on his Golf Heaven vacation at the Floridian golf resort, EVEN THOUGH KIRK HAS NOT NEGOTIATED A SINGLE NEW FREE TRADE AGREEMENT.

That’s like hiring someone for your McDonald’s franchise who can’t figure out how to make a hamburger.

6. The president has said he is determined to cut the deficit, and then he spent his State of the Union address PROPOSING NEW SPENDING PROGRAMS.

7. The White House point man on gun control, Joe Biden, suggested women should defend themselves in their homes with a double barrel shotgun – AND USE UP BOTH THEIR SHOTS BY FIRING AT NOTHING OFF THE SIDE OF THE PORCH.

More about this one tomorrow.

8. The White House continues to proclaim its devotion to openness and transparency while keeping the press in the dark with even greater devotion.

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Okay, the Xanax is sinking in. Maybe shouldn’t have mixed it with the Dramadine and – oh, forgot to mention the scotch. But at least I can deal much, much better with the absurd.