A Muslim was sitting next to Paddy on a plane.
Paddy ordered a whisky.
The stewardess asked the Muslim if he'd like a drink.
He replied in disgust "I'd rather be raped by a dozen whores than let liquor touch my lips!"
Paddy handed his drink back and said
"Me too, I didn't know we had a choice!"
------------oOOo-(_)-oOOo------------
Paddy and Murphy are working on a building site.
Paddy says to Murphy "I'm gonna have the day off
I'm gonna pretend I'm mad!"
He climbs up the rafters, hangs upside down and shouts
"I'M A LIGHT BULB! I'M A LIGHT BULB!"
Murphy watches in amazement!
The Foreman shouts "Paddy you're mad, go home"
So he leaves the site.
Murphy starts packing his kit up to leave as well.
"Where the hell are you going?" asks the Foreman.
"I'm goin home, I can't work in the dark!" says Murphy.
------------ --------- --------oOo- --------- ---------
Paddy, the electrician, got sacked from the U.S. Prison service for not servicing the electric chair..
He said in his professional opinion it was a death trap!
--------- -------- oOo --------- ---------
Mick and Paddy are reading head stones at a nearby cemetery.
Mick says "Bejesus! There's a bloke here who was 152!"
Paddy says "What's his name?"
Mick replies "Miles, from London !"
