Pickerington Area Taxpayers Alliance

Hi, my name is Mikey Sabateeny and I am the most endearing person you will hear from this election season. I am taking a little break from campaigning today. All that driving around is racking up the miles on my hot rod truck. But that?’s OK, I write it all off to my business but I burned off another set of tires.

My good friend Terry Dunlap talked me into moving here. Terry endorses me and has also endorsed my best buddy and confidant Billy Right. He also endorsed our new compatriot Jeff Fix. How can we lose with Terry?’s endorsement after all he has done to this area over the last hundred years? I have served on lots and lots of boards and commissions over the years. But don?’t hold me accountable for what havoc my votes have cost the city. It?’s not my fault. Anyone who says do is picking on me.

I think the most important issue facing us is how the growth I helped propagate over the years now affects the schools. Who wooda thunk it? All those plats I voted for down Diley? Gosh, no one told me that kids would actually live in those houses and go to Pickerington schools. I think that the city should work to impose impact fees that will send money to the schools although there is no legal way to do so in this state, but it sounds pretty cool (like my hot rod truck), don?’t you think? I also state that I don?’t think sitting back and waiting for the Ohio Legislature is doing enough. We should make a rash decision that will result in yet another lawsuit against this city. After all, if we are not defending ourselves against lawsuit after lawsuit forced upon us by decisions made by Joyce (Luv Ya, Babe), Lou (I did pay my premium Daddy), Randy (Hiccup), Brian (IOU Brother!!) and the rest of ?“Our Gang?”, our legal costs would go back to a normal level and then what would I have to campaign about?

I want to be a watchdog for citizens?’ rights. Well, at least the citizens along Diley Road. I am still amazed that council did not obey me in having an election that would have cost the taxpayers thousands and thousands of dollars to host an election that had absolutely no legal mandate coming from the result of the vote. My plan called for this lack of legal ramification to be the spotlight of the election and thereby make most intelligent people in the city not even bother to show up and waste their time to vote. That would have left just the Anti-Diley contingent at the polls so the vote would have been at least 5-0 against improving the road. Sheesh, what were you thinking??

Another issue I need to watchdog over is the storage of propane in this city. I believe that places such as Sears Hardware, where they store the propane tanks for your grill are the target of terrorists. They intend to ram their vehicles into the propane and devastate the whole end of the Kroger Plaza. I think it is up to the city to manage the safety of all hardware stores. Even though the Fire Chief told me that it is under his purview to inspect and approve all propane storage, I still want to watchdog it. I think we should take it a step further and assure terrorists do not have access to ramming their vehicles into your grill on your back deck either. I don?’t like to take an issue part way. Let?’s just ban propane in Pickerington altogether. NO MORE PROPANE-NO MORE TERRORISM!

more2come

By Mikey Sabateeny

moron me, I mean More on ME

I want to get elected because I don?’t believe the administration always tells the truth. They have hired this media spin doctor to help write articles for the papers and I didn?’t get a turn. Even after I crossed my arms and held my breath, no dice. Believe it or not, they have an approval process in place on these articles. They even went so far as to say I couldn?’t stretch the truth in an article just to tell you what I think you want to hear. Fire this spin doctor, I say. I want to put in the papers whatever I please whether it is the truth or not and I will hold my breath until you let me.

I also stated we have a vacuum when it comes to leadership on council. Sorry Heidi, but you are not a leader. You?’re just another talking head. You?’re cute, though. If you were my wife, you?’d never get out of that kitchen, babe. If I was president I would set everyone straight. You would all toe the line and never point out when I am being inane. I looked that up.

When the paper asked who I would be if I could be anybody, I answered No One. I have spent my entire life living up to being No One. I will continue to be No One on council and No One when it comes to casting votes on council.

Now I know you are thinking and asking yourself why I abstain so much on voting. You really want to ask me why I abstained from voting 16 times in one night. Go ahead and ask. Go ahead?…. I ABSTAIN FROM ANSWERING!! Ha HA HA. Really there is no reason. I do it because I can. I do it because it makes me feel important. You see, a councilman is supposed to only abstain if they have a conflict of interest with the issue being voted on. Well, to hell with that! I will vote on issues where I truly have a direct conflict of interest and I will ignore the law director sitting next to me advising me that I have a conflict and shouldn?’t vote. Damn Ethics Nazis. I?’ll show them. I dare them to do something about it. Sorry, too much coffee today.

Just because I am on council does not mean I have to vote. You taxpayers pay me for sound bytes and quotes in the papers, not my actual vote. Just look at my record in the minutes on the city website. Count how many time I showed them Nazis. Count how many times I abstained and more importantly, what I abstained on. That will tell the tale, bet your eyes.

Anyway, I abstain on the minutes of the last meeting because when I read them, I don?’t understand them. It?’s like I was there but wasn?’t there. Sort of a D?©j?  vu thing, you know what I mean? You ever felt like you were looking back and kind of floating there over your body looking down and seeing yourself doing something stupid but can?’t change it and no one can hear you and you end up speaking in front of the class and you look down and you?’re in you underwear and then you try to tell your mom and dad it was just a kitten and it probably would have died anyway and you didn?’t mean to start a fire but the flames are pretty and NO I won?’t wet my pants if I play with fire and?….

moron me to follow...

By Mikey Sabateeny

Stick a fork in me, I am done

I also probably didn?’t have time to read them because Brian Fox and I have been going through all those emails we got in our public information requests to try to make something from nothing. We haven?’t had any luck yet but at least those stupid papers keep reporting it. We also tied up a huge amount of city staff?’s time on these requests. But you know what? HA HA- we can do it all we want.

So when you see all mine and Billy?’s signs clustered together all over, remember that we are a team. It is not litter. We are joined at the hip. We are in lockstep. We will win together or lose together. Who cares? Fix is with us but we won?’t put his signs up with ours because his are bigger than ours.

Just to show you how honest and important I am, I make this one last campaign promise.

I WILL ABSTAIN FROM VOTING IN THE ELECTION ON NOVEMBER 8.

How?’s that you Nazis???

Let me leave you with this thought that sums up my life, my commitment to the city and my desire to represent all the residents of this city-

?“Life is like a coffee bean. Sort of oddly shaped, very dark and it smells funny.?”


By Mikey

While we were Sleeping

Mikey, the super crime fighter and defender of the world against the injustices of political corruptions. While you were sleeping last night the Mayor?’s wife was out drinking and having a good time. On her way home she side swiped a parked black pickup truck. She was so drunk she could not think fast enough to flee the scene. However the police department did arrive and take her to the station. She tested over three times the legal limit. Yet she only received two citations from the Bexley Police department. She also failed the field sobriety test and then the breathalyzer test yet they only issued her two citations. After only two hours in the jail she was released to her husband the Mayor.

Mikey this is totally unfair. You know if it where your or me we would be waking up to the smell of urine and vomit this morning in some drunk tank down at the county. We probably would have a fellow named Bubba snuggled real close to our back side.

However the Mayor?’s wife was released because she had no prior record and she was cooperative. Clearly this smells of favoritism. Mikey it is time to protect our rights and guard against this blatant corruption of the Bexley police department. Mikey it is time for an investigation of the elected officials of Bexley. Then on to Columbus City Hall and their council to register the same demands.

I know you are in a tight election race here and you want to keep a low profile so I would recommend that you that your friend Richard Head or what ever his name is to do your bidding for you. It didn?’t matter to him that he was a township resident falsely claming to be a City resident complaining about a police force he doesn?’t pay taxes to. Actually if you think about it this would be a step up for him. Columbus and their Mayor are an even bigger target.

Just think of the possibilities here Mikey. If you somehow lose the Pickerington City Council race next month you could run for Governor of Ohio and you would have planted the seeds of your next campaign. Just think you can have your friend DICK be your hit man for your political opponents. Mikey this is a no-brainer and you are good at no braining everything. You are a natural for this one.


By Bubba