Muscatine

Devil's Advocate

What's the big deal about getting married? If your looking for a socially accepted ceremony to prove your self worth, hen you've got bigger issues than just marriage. Folks try to use it as a moral issue...''it's the right thing to do''...If you loved me, you'd marry me...that's crap. Don't measure your self worth by somebody else's standards. Don't look at marriage as a stamp of approval from God or anyone else, but always do what you think is right...no matter what I or anyone else tells you, because at the end of the day, the most important person you go to bed with will always be yourself.

MIL

If you think and believe that it is wrong to live and sleep with a man before you are married then why have you been doing it over a 4 year time period? That is a long time to be doing something you think is moraly wrong.

Now days a lot of people look at getting married as just a sheet of paper proving your love for each other. You don't need papers to prove your love, he has been there this long I don't think he is going any where. And he helps, and supports you as if you are married so what is the big deal. Besides divorce costs a hell of a lot more then the wedding trust me on this as you should also know. Why spend the money on a wedding when you could spend it as a happy couple doing something you both enjoy. Just don't nag him about it, because that alone will drive a man away.

Sit down and talk to him about your feelings and as to why you want to be married to him, listen to his response as to why he does or does not, even if it hurts your just going to have to take it, don't fight about it, there really could be some good reasons as to why he just doesn't want to, but you just need to get his whole side to it. If after talking to him about it and you still have a need to be married then you might want to just move on and find someone that wants the same things as you do. Common law marriage is no longer apart of Iowa. My cousin and I checked into that since her and her man have been together for 10 years and they wanted to add her to his insurance. But that doesn't mean that you can't continue to live as if you are married, since that is what you are doing now, and outside of that little sheet of paper you are both happy with the way your lives are together, so maybe it is just best to drop it and find other sweet ways to prove your love to each other.

I wish you the best.

common law

marriage is recognized in Iowa.it is the inc. co. that do not.there is no time limit to it you can file your taxes together and even use his last name if you want to.it's just a piece of paper between you depending on your beliefs.dont ruin your relationship over a piece of paper.when he is ready he will ask.hounding him sounds despersate.leave it alone it will come.if its meant to be it will be.